I really don't like calling any category of things 'toxic' but I just heard the phrase 'toxic monogamy' and it is's seriously siren calling me from a high horse
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don't go towards the high horse, aella, don't do it. you can resist.
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fuck i can't stop... the call is too strong.... im climbing on this horse, it's so high, aaaaaaahhhh OUR CULTURE NEEDS TO REJECT TOXIC MONOGAMY AND ITS NORMS THAT RESTRICT VOLUNTARY BEHAVIOR AAAaaahhh oh god it's got me
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"Toxic" is often used to refer to a long standing set of social norms that have been widely accepted and justified, but actually result in a lot of repression, damage, harm, or power imbalance in culture. I think as a whole, 'monogamy' has one foot firmly in this definition.
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Most often, preventing people from getting needs fulfilled, and placing the burden of someone's satisfaction on the other person. Eg, if someone isn't getting enough sex to fulfill them, they're not allowed to look elsewhere and the pressure is on their partner, which hurts both.
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It is perfectly /normal/ to not fuck others while in a monogamous relationship. You are trying to basically add justification to why people cheat and there isn't a justification to that concept. If you know you might cheat, that is all you and your problem. Not monogamy's.
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'I can't stand the pressure of remaining a loyal person so I'll dub monogamy toxic' is how this all comes off.
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Do you think polyamory means not being loyal? I've seen so many loyal couple's - like a trio married for a decade!