I really don't like calling any category of things 'toxic' but I just heard the phrase 'toxic monogamy' and it is's seriously siren calling me from a high horse
Have you ever been in true poly circles? In the poly community you can find tons of people who've been doing this their whole life and are super happy. I've known I was poly for almost a decade and couldn't imagine doing anything else.
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Of course there are outliers. I'm merely saying that the vast, vast majority of women would never be happy with it. And I've found that the ones that are...there is usually some stuff from childhood that was never dealt with. Not all, of obviously. But there is a pattern.
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The other thing is that poly women, especially, seem to guard their polyamory like a wounded animals. Extremely defensive about it. Because it's become such a major part of their identity. So there's a lot more incentive to portray happy as much as possible.
End of conversation
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Again, I'm just going with what I'm seeing and what I know of evolutionary psychology. It's actually bad new for me, because my and my girlfriend would be a lot better off if all of this wasn't the case. But it is, at least to a very large degree.
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