I really don't like calling any category of things 'toxic' but I just heard the phrase 'toxic monogamy' and it is's seriously siren calling me from a high horse
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don't go towards the high horse, aella, don't do it. you can resist.
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fuck i can't stop... the call is too strong.... im climbing on this horse, it's so high, aaaaaaahhhh OUR CULTURE NEEDS TO REJECT TOXIC MONOGAMY AND ITS NORMS THAT RESTRICT VOLUNTARY BEHAVIOR AAAaaahhh oh god it's got me
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"Toxic" is often used to refer to a long standing set of social norms that have been widely accepted and justified, but actually result in a lot of repression, damage, harm, or power imbalance in culture. I think as a whole, 'monogamy' has one foot firmly in this definition.
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Let me put it like this: not being allowed to fuck around feels wrong. Especially for a guy? But the alternative would be to either be solo or lie to your partner.
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if you're mono, then yes. if you're poly, then you can just do it and be honest with your partner.
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Speaking as someone who definitely doesn't live a conventional romantic or sex life...monogamy makes nearly everyone way happier than polyamory. Kind of like democratic republicanism, it make not be perfect, but it's far and away the best we've ever come up with.
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It's hard to tell, because it's the unquestioned default and the skills and examples necessary to make poly work are totally absent in all of our media and culture.
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