In most normal social situations I feel like an alien trying to pass as human, like the people I'm talking to are really far away, or like we're reading lines off an uninteresting script.
Is this because I'm abnormal, or because I'm not trying hard enough? I really can't tell.
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Finding a wide variety of other people beautiful/fascinating/deep is a mindset that is really romantic and we praise people with that mindset. I really want to have that romantic mindset but I have no idea how to engage like that past specific, small subcultures.
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Is it possible this is connected with your experiences W psychedelics? Speaking from a position of ignorance
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I don't think so. I remember feeling like this before psychedelics, though I think it might have been less pronounced.
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Being neurodivergent doesn't mean you're 'abnormal', except in the statistical sense. But then, being smart is also a form of neurodivergence. Go easier on yourself and embrace the inner alien.
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Perhaps a side effect of your upbringing. It takes a long time for some people to be comfortable around others though, regardless of how you are raised. OTOH it could be that being so damned smart makes you think about the situation much more than others do and that has an effect
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I spent a couple years believing life was a social experiment. My interactions with other humans have never been the same. A percentage of myself has not let it go and I sometimes view people as sims. Its hard to take what they say and do seriously when you think they aren't real
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Most people interact socially based on an uninteresting script: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etiquette
Even if they're not following a set of rules governed by expectations of wider society they're usually trying not to rock the boat & accomplish this by giving preset responses to most stimuli
