A lot of the group identity of womanhood comes from having a shared experience of being treated in a certain way since birth, through childhood and the entrance into puberty, where "YOU CAN REPRODUCE" is a defining feature of your relationship to the world.
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In this way I don't feel like trans women are in my group identity of womanhood, because they didn't go through those experiences - and I have mixed feelings about their presence in spaces designed specifically for support around those experiences.
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THAT BEING SAID I feel like I need to clarify that I am happy to respect the gender identity of trans women, I don't mind using whatever pronouns anybody wants, and I believe their accounts of their felt gender.
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also that being said i don't really feel like a woman and I don't understand what people mean when they feel like a gender. I don't know what it means to feel like a gender.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
I've heard it described like "you don't notice how your shoe feels unless your shoe doesn't fit. You can't feel your muscles until they hurt. You don't notice your breathing until you can't breathe."
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Replying to @CianOConnor
I don't feel weird when I'm misgendered online, and sometimes encourage it. When I imagine everybody calling me 'he' or 'him,' nothing feels inherently bad about it, besides maybe the confusion about why they're suddenly doing it.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
I think it's more of a physical thing. The only real exploration I've seen of it is this from
@slatestarcodex. Phantom limb research suggests people have a map of how their body *should* look ingrained from birth. http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/02/18/typical-mind-and-gender-identity/ …1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
That model makes the most sense to me - I usually think of 'transness' in the same way I think of 'my limb is missing'ness. Very often, though, the discourse I hear does not frame transness in that way.
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