A lot of the group identity of womanhood comes from having a shared experience of being treated in a certain way since birth, through childhood and the entrance into puberty, where "YOU CAN REPRODUCE" is a defining feature of your relationship to the world.
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In this way I don't feel like trans women are in my group identity of womanhood, because they didn't go through those experiences - and I have mixed feelings about their presence in spaces designed specifically for support around those experiences.
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THAT BEING SAID I feel like I need to clarify that I am happy to respect the gender identity of trans women, I don't mind using whatever pronouns anybody wants, and I believe their accounts of their felt gender.
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also that being said i don't really feel like a woman and I don't understand what people mean when they feel like a gender. I don't know what it means to feel like a gender.
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I don't feel weird when I'm misgendered online, and sometimes encourage it. When I imagine everybody calling me 'he' or 'him,' nothing feels inherently bad about it, besides maybe the confusion about why they're suddenly doing it.
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That model makes the most sense to me - I usually think of 'transness' in the same way I think of 'my limb is missing'ness. Very often, though, the discourse I hear does not frame transness in that way.