A lot of the group identity of womanhood comes from having a shared experience of being treated in a certain way since birth, through childhood and the entrance into puberty, where "YOU CAN REPRODUCE" is a defining feature of your relationship to the world.
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In this way I don't feel like trans women are in my group identity of womanhood, because they didn't go through those experiences - and I have mixed feelings about their presence in spaces designed specifically for support around those experiences.
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THAT BEING SAID I feel like I need to clarify that I am happy to respect the gender identity of trans women, I don't mind using whatever pronouns anybody wants, and I believe their accounts of their felt gender.
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I don't feel weird when I'm misgendered online, and sometimes encourage it. When I imagine everybody calling me 'he' or 'him,' nothing feels inherently bad about it, besides maybe the confusion about why they're suddenly doing it.
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It’s about cultural definitions of gender roles. So, it simply depends on the culture you choose to identify with.
If… You choose to identify with any culture at home.
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You are just describing common fact: nobody probably does not feel what does it mean to feel like a gender. For concrete human beings this is not important.
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I only rarely feel "manly". Most of the time I'm just a brain in an animated meat suit
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