Within each meat faction are sects who are devoted to particular regional preparations. You must also select one of these.
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You will defend your chosen barbecue to the death. The real reason the south will never rise again is that every time it tries someone brings up barbecue and a fist fight breaks out.
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In the event of a fist fight you are now required to no longer speak to the opposing side of any of their family members ever. Unfortunately these days we are no longer allowed to have shooting feuds.
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Good luck out there, new southerners. Tomorrow we'll talk about all 73 ways to bless someone's heart and what they mean.
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Addendum, since people are getting confused. You don't have to stop eating all other meats and preparations.
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Indeed, here in the south (which is all of the US and Canada, we have established) it is extremely rude not to eat food you are offered absent a pressing reason such as religious requirements or health concerns.
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But you must select one meat and one preparation to which you will apply the word "barbecue". You will defend your choice, yea even unto death.
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Everything else shall be mere slow-smoked meat in your eyes.
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Later we shall perhaps discuss 110 level barbecue fundamentals. This has been your 101-level class: selecting a meat, introduction to the concept of regional preparations, the certainty of fist fights.
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real talk though I love me some brisket or ribs
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