RIGHT RIGHT I HAVE NEW FOLLOWERS WHO ARE NOT AWARE OF THE LONGSTANDING FEUD IN WHICH THESE LOUD MONKEY SOUNDING MOTHERFUCKERS YELL OUTSIDE MY YURT AND THEN I GO YELL PROFANITY AT THEM
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🚩Shepherd 🏴 Retweeted 🚩Shepherd 🏴
LIKE... WHATEVER YOU ARE THINKING OF WHEN I SAY "THE OWLS ARE BACK" THAT IS NOT WHAT BARRED OWLS SOUND LIKE. THESE STRIPEY ASSHOLES SOUND LIKE MONKEYS ON A BENDER. BEHOLD.https://twitter.com/NeolithicSheep/status/1367266492841144321?s=19 …
🚩Shepherd 🏴 added,
11 replies 7 retweets 171 likesShow this thread -
THESE ARE NOT MAJESTIC OWLS THAT SAY "WHO" THESE ARE POSSESSED OWLS THAT SAY "WOO HA HA HA HA WHAW"
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Seriously you look up barred owls on bird sites and it's all "their call is a distinctive 'who cooks for you'" and that's the audio sample you get and then you move into barred owl territory and their call is THE CACKLING OF DAMNED, BROKEN SOULS. THAT ARE DRUNK. AND HIGH.
7 replies 13 retweets 253 likesShow this thread -
Like sure I hear that "who cooks for you" one time out of a hundred and the rest of the time it is PRIMATES THAT GOT INTO THE GIN, BUT RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW
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"I wish I lived in the country, it's so peaceful" *fucking foxes scream like someone is being murdered* *owls do nightly impressions of monkeys who have done keg stands* *coyotes are a mile away but have been taking lessons from hyenas* *neighbor cows are angry. again.*
28 replies 43 retweets 406 likesShow this thread -
IT'S NOT EVEN WHIPPOORWILL SEASON YET. Oh my God those motherfuckers will drive you to distraction. They are LOUD, they are repetitive, and they call for HOURS.
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There are city people who are like "I'd love to trade noises" and either they live on a really intense ambulance route or they have never in their lives spent a night in the actual country.
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Traffic noise is so soothing. It's like this white noise static hum. Foxes when they fuck on the other hand literally scream like a human child being murdered. And I swear to God they are fuzzy exhibitionists who go out of their way to do it right outside your window. At night.
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So there you are, about to drift off or sound asleep, and suddenly it sounds like someone is gruesomely torturing a toddler to death under your window.
7 replies 0 retweets 52 likesShow this thread
I live in a city with a huge pop of urban foxes and oh my god when I heard the scream for the first time I legit thought someone was being killed.
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