Actually the lesbian-shouldn't-prefer-vaginas thing sounds like an "incel" (involuntary celebacy) argument, which is an unfortunate twist because incel arguments are associated with white supremacy and violence against women.
No one can define yet experiences but you, true. The issue is that these people want to rigidly define was a woman is for everyone.
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I haven't met or heard from "these people" that want that. But I have met and heard from women who have made similar points to me, been shut down and labelled TERFs. It doesn't take much to be accused of transphobia, just a few questions earns it.
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The women who wrote and signed that letter are transphobes. And like I said before, if you can’t see that then idk what to tell you.
End of conversation
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