Hahaha (sorry about the back) what Anxiety does is HARNESS Logic and apply it to generating worst-case scenarios and when you are like “Cool, Logic, so what would we DO if I got fired and raccoons ate my eyes?” Logic is like “All tapped out, brace for raccoons! VIGILANCE!”
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Replying to @CAwkward @AnaMardoll
Logic: “Then again, it might not be raccoons.” You: “Oh? That’s a relief.” Logic: “Might be cancer. Or nuclear war. Or squirrels, mutant squirrels, exposed to radiation..” Anxiety: “Seems plausible!” You: :back to bed for 1,000 years: Anxiety: “Buy gold! Eat vitamins!”
1 reply 1 retweet 41 likes -
Replying to @CAwkward @AnaMardoll
Shame: “Hey y’all, is there a meeting?” Anxiety: “Wait, are you missing an important meeting? Right now? Today?” Logic: “Better double-check! No, triple-check! And make a new SYSTEM for checking!” Anxiety: “The stove is on.”
1 reply 4 retweets 41 likes -
Replying to @CAwkward @AnaMardoll
You: The stove ISN’T on. Anxiety: ‘k You: It ISN’T Anxiety: If you say so You: I am sure. Logic: Well, if it is, your house might burn down with everything you love inside it. You: FINE. :checks the stove: Anxiety: ok but whatabout the iron?
3 replies 2 retweets 41 likes -
Replying to @CAwkward @AnaMardoll
You: I don’t iron. Shame: You sure don’t. Maybe it’s time? You: No. Anxiety: Curling iron? You: Is this 1991? Anxiety: Waffle Iron You: Nice try Anxiety: Iron Fist? Shame, Logic, You, in unison: Terrible show!
1 reply 1 retweet 49 likes -
Replying to @CAwkward @AnaMardoll
You: Waffles sound good actually. Anxiety: Ooh are we going outside? Logic: While you’re out, here is every errand that could possibly be run. Don’t forget to save for retirement. Shame: You could have waffles...OR retirement. Choose. Logic: Watch out for raccoons.
1 reply 3 retweets 46 likes -
Replying to @CAwkward @AnaMardoll
Shame: Before you go? You: What Shame: Are you sure you shouldn’t just do a few quick things around here? You: Like what Shame: Like...everything? You: What is everything Shame: You know. You: ... Shame: You KNOW. Logic: Are we cataloging all the digital photos?
3 replies 1 retweet 53 likes -
Replying to @CAwkward @AnaMardoll
Anxiety: What if you DIE of raccoon cancer and unemployment fire and the archive of everything you’ve created or seen is LOST? Logic: Good question. Physical hard drive or The Cloud? Anxiety: I don’t trust corporations. Shame: Waffles can wait until you deserve them.
2 replies 0 retweets 32 likes -
Replying to @CAwkward @AnaMardoll
I’ll stop making Anxiety Theater in your mentions, friend, sorry your beautiful brain has some total a-holes as housemates. Hopefully this made you feel less alone & not more anxious. When in doubt: Eat waffles.
4 replies 0 retweets 33 likes
Lmao I’ve never seen anxiety described so well. This is me.
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