literally can't imagine what it must be like to not feel insecure about everything all of the time. I don't know what I'd even do with the amount of mental energy I'm wasting right now on being insecure about saying I'm insecure because I know how much everyone loves confidence.
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this nugget of existential despair is brought to you by someone who meant well showing me some weirdos' mean posts about hobbies I picked up and haven't gone back to yet because I've been working 24-7 to try to prove to myself that I can make something I am proud of someday
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honestly that's a big reason why I don't talk much about my life or anything in-progress on here anymore. it's hard enough to enjoy things when you never feel like you're good enough by default, it's a lot harder with a lot of people rooting for you to fail at all times.
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I miss when the internet was the place I where felt like it was okay to be vulnerable and open about how lost I feel all of the time and try things and experiment and fail. I haven't found a real alternative so now I just silo myself off in my work and vanish up my own ass.
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It takes zero dollars and zero time to not be an asshole on the internet.
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