Adam Jacob’s Tweets
Well now that we have you on Twitter...
1,000 RTs on this post and we will give out some $50 free bets 😈
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“I went through a phase in 6th grade where I preferred Alvin and the chipmunk versions of songs more than the originals”
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I’d be heated if my parents chose to have Macklemore over lil dicky to perform at my celebration of life
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Day 1 without sports: I met this woman who lives in my house. Apparently she is my wife.
I’ll keep you updated on my findings.
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BREAKING: #Cubs in agreement with free-agent closer Craig Kimbrel, pending physical, sources tell The Athletic.
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Can’t even front, bugs that make a lot of noise when they fly are kinda scary
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@ArianaGrande hey girl. Been a fan of yours for a while and I think you're really cute. Dinner on me?
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does this mean we’re dating
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UPDATE ON THE YOUTHS: middle school girls give boys they like SCRUNCHIES and they WEAR THEM ON THEIR WRISTS
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“I just called a client and gave them their phone number as a callback number”
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friends: “DO IT, YOU WON’T”
me:
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whoever started the rumor that my parents paid for me to get into med school, law school, astronaut school, helicopter school, and bus school is lying
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“I get a little hungry in the morning so I toast a bagel. I’m not that hungry though so I always throw half of it away”
“You know you can toast half of a bagel and save the other have for later... right”
“Oh yea.. true”
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I’m going to start tweeting the ridiculous things that are said in the house that I live in even tho no one cares
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C-Mart for the win!!!! So proud of you bud! Love you! 💙
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You ever look in the mirror to find you’ve been walking around with dorito dust in the corners of your mouth
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This is how our next President should be chosen
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During the national anthem, a bald eagle landed on a fan at the Cotton Bowl. 
(via @mattmgillespie)
(via @mattmgillespie)
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Big shout out to Instagram for the new “You’re All Caught Up” feature... keeping me from going through a memory evaluation every time I log on
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If the Cleveland Cavaliers win the 2018 NBA finals I’ll buy everyone who retweet’s this a jersey...
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Friend 1: It’s Yanny.
Friend 2: It’s Laurel.
Me:
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