So I have come to the conclusion that I am a Lizard Person, and I have evidence to support it. Lizards can only eat soft foods or the food gets logged in their intestines. I can only eat soft foods of the food gets logged in my intestines. Hence, I am a lizard. Oh, but there
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is more. Lizards have itchy dry skin. Colorado has a dry climate, and I have itchy dry skin. It must be my skin suit itching all the time. A few years ago back in 2014 I had a medical emergency and I had to get an ultrasound of my lower intestines.
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The doctors found that a few pounds of beef jerky were logged in my intestines from a road trip where I sat on my ass driving for three days and ate lots of beef jerky. There was so much beef jerky in me they told be to go home and eat some fiber, and said
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that if it got worse I should go to the emergency room. So I ate a bunch of fiber by ingesting large quantities of juice with the pulp. Then I took the most massive shit of my life, something like 400 Courics worth, truly one for the records. But ever since then I have had a
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problem eating large amounts of steak, and my steak soup diet is really fucking with my digestion. I have to eat copious amounts of salad before and after eating large amounts of "steak soup" or I get this pain under my left rib.
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