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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Sep 18

    My heartfelt thanks to , , for your brilliance tonight. Also director Casey Stangl and , who hosted the evening + read stage directions. Finally, huge thank you to for a great production. I am very lucky!

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  2. Just got a promoted ad saying “crypto waits for no one.” That’s ok, scoot on ahead without me! I’m probably gonna stay in tonight.

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  3. I don't really want to see The Eternals but I gotta support my girlfriend, Salma Hayek

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  4. Retweeted
    Oct 10
    Replying to

    Don’t for get about EXTRA syllable they put into the word “aluminum”.

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  5. Oct 10

    being a fading colonizing power drives you mad and with every former colony you lose you add more unpronounced letters to your words

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  6. Oct 10

    In the UK Worcester is pronounced 'Wustuh' and Cholmondeley is pronounced 'Chumly.' This is a nation that needs to figure out what it wants from letters.

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  7. Oct 10

    NOT ENOUGH SKELETONS

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  8. Oct 10

    He’s back! In 2023, Timothee Chalamet is… BILLY JACK

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  9. Oct 10

    (not because the Vikings did win, though that makes the tweet obnoxious. it’s ‘cause the double “fail to” adds up to the opposite meaning of the clever thing. which is now the opposite of clever. still, NO APOLOGY)

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  10. Oct 10

    In my zeal to be clever in a tweet about failure, I myself failed, blowing the premise. Here’s why I won’t be apologizing: (1/87)

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  11. Oct 10

    welp I was wrong and I don’t mind admitting it. well I do a bit, but.

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  12. Oct 10

    Haha the Vikings never fail to fail to disappoint

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  13. Oct 10

    bwahahaha I’ve destroyed my life!!!! hahahaHAHAHA

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  14. Oct 10

    Heads Up Conversations Like This Can Be In Tents

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  15. Retweeted

    My fave part of the Guns N’ Roses cover of Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door? Gotta be the extended freakout where Axl starts to sound like Carol Channing

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  16. Oct 10

    Genuinely awesome to see Tina Turner so happy and content in her life

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  17. Oct 9
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  18. Oct 9

    Probably not gonna come out of baseball postseason any MORE inclined to like DraftKings

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  19. Retweeted

    Your moment of calm and cozy 🐺

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  20. Retweeted
    Oct 9

    Apparently there is a kid character named "Podcast" in the new Ghostbusters. This counts, I predicted it, close enough, it absolutely counts.

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  21. Retweeted
    Oct 9

    Barbara Stanwyck was badass to the end

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