a means by which many young people grasp for these things. We are now left with a question of moral relativism. If an individual claims to be fulfilled or happy with something, and their parent thinks they are hurt, what are we to do?
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I am arguing that a rift between parent and child at this crucial and vulnerable point is something we should try to avoid at all costs. Sometimes, the child estranges her/himself in a way that is deeply wounding to the parent, an experience of deep loss and helplessness.
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But also, if a 20-something (at one particular moment in their life path) feels good about the choices they've made, and their parents continue to insist they've been damaged, a rift will occur between parent and child, even if the child was initially hoping to stay connected.
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Ironically, some extremist trans ideology creates a hyper-vigilance in kids that their parents may be dangerous for their mental health. Parents have to do everything they can to prove activists wrong, lest the child gets pushed further and further into a radical position.
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Sometimes this means seeing your young adult child not as a hapless or lost victim, but an individual who took a path with great uncertainty. Whether a young person detransitions or not, they really need their parents, ESPECIALLY so if they are in a place of identity confusion.
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Replying to @SashaLPC
The time to try to prevent injury is before the transition. Afterwards there is no benefit to urging regret or victimhood; there is only room for healing and love.
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Replying to @SchuckAb
sometimes I think worried parents conflate urging regret with offering deeper reflections. Blurry lines but if there's a backdrop of anxiety and warnings against transition, kids will receive this as criticism and rejection
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The brain is not fully mature until age 25
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Replying to @TaniaAMarshall @SchuckAb
Yes Tania, this is true, and exactly why I have been railing about this for years. But are we to lock 22 years olds up in a tower? What do we do when they've started making medical decisions before they are 25? How do parents stay engaged and connected in this case?
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...and if the parents are involved in public advocacy efforts, how do they do that effectively while acknowledging their kids' legal autonomy? Very tricky ground.
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