So it's not wrong or "transphobic" for a parent to wish for desistance. But some adults will go on to transition. Some--but not all--will detransition. Whatever they do, it helps no one to claim they are irreversibly ruined human beings, only worthy of being wept over or mourned.
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Many detransitioners--& yes, some people who tell you they are happy in the medical choices they've made--are making important contributions to the growing, global conversation about the excesses & problems of trans activism & medical transition. They are anything but ruined.
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The vast majority of detransitioners/desisters & ethical/concerned trans ppl don't want to be seen as wrecked poster children--especially in campaigns led by those who see LGB or even trans ppl as pitiful sinners who can and must be saved.
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Every day, more detrans, desisted, & ethical trans ppl who see the problems w/youth medical transition are speaking up. Amplifying their voices is the best thing we can do. Even though we all KNOW adulthood isn't magically attained on someone's 18th birthday, the hard truth is..
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...Those adults (some still very young) have to find their own way and their own voices. Those who detransitioned/desisted aren't being studied, & they are too often shouted down. How do we help them be heard? The future is in their hands.
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No one knows what the persistence/desistence rate is going to be with the new, largely unstudied population of adolescent-onset (mostly) female transitioners is going to be. We need to push for research. And we need to keep trying to slow down the affirm-only train.
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But if you want detransitioners/desisters on your side, mourning the loss of "beautiful" daughters who frequently didn't want to be seen as "beautiful" in the first place isn't the way. We can only help them be heard, not speak on their behalf--as hard as that might be.
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Replying to @4th_WaveNow
This is a thread I don't especially like, because it maintains the paradigm that this is medical treatment and "a choice." Medically and ethically, it should not be a "choice" for anyone -- like driving drunk: High risk, low benefit.
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Replying to @The_DLJones @4th_WaveNow
The fact that some people like it is not an argument in its favor, either. Some people like heroin and can't stop and "won't be happy any other way." It doesn't mean we say, "Here, go at it!" Even less does it mean we let _everyone_ go at it who thinks they want to shoot up.
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Replying to @The_DLJones @4th_WaveNow
Access to heroin is not a "choice" we give people, even if some people like it, and indeed, there are many functioning heroin addicts. Other high-harm/ low-benefit actions (like "transition") should be treated the same.
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Heroin isn't recommended and touted by the AMA, APA, AAP, Endocrine Society. etc...not to mention the media & most members of a political party. This thread isn't *recommending* transition, it's about the reality on the ground that some adults are going to choose it.
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Replying to @4th_WaveNow
My point was that you were talking about "medical choices" for a decidedly non-medical problem. It's one thing to accept people who've made these choices (& not say they're ruined or mutilated). Yes. However, the choices they made were not medical choices but cosmetic choices.
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Replying to @The_DLJones @4th_WaveNow
Framing these as "medical" choices contributes to the problem. Just as there's a false equivalency re conversion therapy for sexual orientation & supportive psychotherapy for kids with GD, we mustn't create another false equivalency with cosmetic procedures & "medical choices."
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