Relationship is a two way street. If the options are “Play make believe, force yourself to lie, and embrace my delusion, or I’ll have nothing to do with you,” that’s not a relationship. It’s a dictatorship. Sometimes the most selfless act of love is to refuse to enable this.
The crux of the issue, especially when talking about and with legal adults (for better or worse--we KNOW 18-yr-olds aren't all grown up), is that they may not agree with your assertion that they are damaged. Then what? It's not a simple issue, & to insist it is also lacks nuance.
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I wouldn’t recommend telling them that they are damaged. Of course we must leave a path. The path is all there is. But the damage is so so real. The world is headed down this headlong rush to turn toddlers into trans. Our kids ARE getting hurt. Who will speak then?
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The crux of the issue also is that their sense of who they are is incredibly fragile. It’s sometimes impossible for them to stay in relationship with anyone who isn’t a cheerleader. That’s not our fault.
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It's not about fault. It's about trying to navigate an impossible situation for everyone.
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