& then there was the London lesbians.The protest at London pride where a hand full of radical feminist lesbians stepped in front of thousands and made their voices heard. I had been following a well known transman on social media and he had posted a story from Pink News.
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The headline went something like “transphobic lesbians storm the parade “ or some kinda non sense like that. I read the story but was a little annoyed because it didn’t say what they were protesting. Just that they were transphobic. I posted on social media asking others why the
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Women had been protesting and what their message was. The response I got sounded like this “who knows, they are just transphobic and being hateful “. Well I thought maybe so but it’s always better to know the full story before making a decision.
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So I began my google search and wouldn’t you know, it lead me to radical feminism. And that was the hammer that broke my illusion right open. The next several months was me and radical feminism and I heard the phrase I wish I had heard years ago.
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“The only thing that makes you a woman is that you are female” I agreed with this but could still not take the final step to detransition.
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Then I saw Hannah Gadsby’s Netflix special and it sealed the deal. her anger slapped me right in the face and told me what I hadn’t wanted to ever admit. Being a butch lesbian woman was fucking hard.
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When you walk through the world as a living example of everything that the world tells you is ugly and disgusting it can brake you. And it had broken me and I had some real truths to face about myself.
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My internalized homophobia was something I always denied but it was damn strong and I had used it as another tool to hurt myself with. But the time had come that I stop hurting myself.
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I contacted my doctor the next day and told her I wanting to quit my testosterone shots. It’s been 2 1-2 months since I last injected testosterone. I feel really good and healthy. I feel on the mend and it’s wonderful.
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Perhaps down the road I will discuss my gender dysphoria and how it presented and how I believe it developed. But for now this is the beginning of my story or maybe it’s the end, but I don’t think so. It feels like the beginning :)
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Thank you for this. So many activists tell us detransition is rare, or that it's all part of the "gender journey" and so it's no problem. Every detransitioned person's story matters. Eventually there will be critical mass and the Powers That Be won't be able to ignore it anymore.
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