I am developing a better sense of what NOT to do, but still don't really know what TO DO, esp since my child is now in college. Don't know how any relationship can stay strong through this with an older kid, even if OK on the surface. If you don't support it, you are the enemy.
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University age son - yr 4 of trans. Convos are hard because topic choice - even word choice! - is either going to plant a seed or blow up the whole thing and cost us every bit of progress we’ve made.
@AliceHope57 has a good video on support vs affirmation. If I could do it again, -
I’d keep him closer to me by talking about his reasons for his identity. I didn’t because it was terrifying and shocking and I knew it was based in his depressed state. I tried to deal with that instead, and avoided talking about trans. But meanwhile, while I was silent, he was
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And there's a difference between constant haranguing/lecturing and saying a few pithy things at the right moment. The idea that parents should never say what THEY believe while their kids are mainlining only one viewpoint 24-7 via their phones--how is that effective?
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Did YOU receive your parents' advice well as a young person? But did you ever think about it later, as an adult, & realize how meaningful & often accurate it actually was? Kids NEED their parents to express their views, to be a rock in the storm; we aren't irrelevant bystanders.
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