When you first turn to God and go to church you are overwhelmed with relief and full of conviction to lead a better life
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...but because you *cannot possibly stop sinning.* Someone else had to be virtuous for you, someone had to be perfect for you.
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And when it finally sinks in, you find yourself in a strange tension of relief and fear. Relief, bc God has taken matters into His hands.
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Fear, because your own behavior isn't hidden from yourself anymore. You know where you are going. You know it'll take a miracle.
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So you live on a tightrope now. You're damned and saved at the same time. And in the end, you find you were always were one or the other.
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anytime
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Very well said but I don't see how this relates to trains
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