Trump says he'd consider raising the minimum wage, but not to the extent that it would hurt small businesses Look the question is whether you'd raise it to 15, you do it or you don't Trump points out that the cost of living differs in different countries
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And Trump immediately torpedoes it by saying that "with the possible exception of Abraham Lincoln" he's done the most for Black people Or maybe that plays well to someone, I don't know. I guess it's possible
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Biden denies ever saying "superpredators" Reminds Biden that Trump said the problem with the bill was that there aren't enough people in jail. His words about "marauding gangs" The Central Park 5, of course
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Biden comes out as opposed as mandatory minimum sentencing, advocates for rehab instead jail for addicts "But why didn't you do that 4 years ago?" Trump asks I mean, we could ask the same of you for the last 4 years bro
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"I ran because of you!" Trump repeats about 20 times bafflingly
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Joe says the nation knows who Trump is and who Joe is "The character of the country is on the ballot. Look at us closely." Trump says something about Biden "not being an innocent baby" and brings up The Laptop
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"I want to stay on the issue of race," the moderator pleads impotently as Biden says, The Laptop is bullshit and no one believes it, and Trump saying, oh are you saying it's Russiagate again?
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Trump asked about that thing where he retweeted someone chanting "White Power" and responds by saying that the first time he saw Black Lives Matter it was them chanting something about pigs in a blanket and frying them like bacon That's the whole response
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"I am the least racist person in the room!" Trump declares several times "Abraham Lincoln here is one of the most racist president we've had in modern history" Biden says in my favorite moment of this campaign so far
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And then Biden says "poor boys" instead of proud boys but who fucking cares at this point
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Trump asks where the Abraham Lincoln thing came from and says he's done the absolute most for black people of anyone Brings up the crime bill again. "Oh God," Biden moans and he can get away with it, it doesn't fucking matter at this point
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Biden asked directly about the horrible impact of the crime bill he passed and his role in the War on Drugs Biden says it was a mistake, and that he's trying to change the statutes, especially on cocaine Reiterates the need for rehab instead of punishment. Very strong tone
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"But why didn't he get it done?" Trump demands, as though he hasn't been president for the last 3.75 years "We got a lot of it done," Biden says. 30,000 released from federal prison. I seriously cannot convey the absolute conviction he's putting behind his words
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Trump now doing the imitation voice and pretending to be Biden. Yes, really God I'm so fucking happy right now
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Climate change time Trump references the "trillion trees" program and clean air/water: a nice way to not piss off his climate change denier base He says carbon emission numbers are the best in 35 years He sounds better. I think he's just relieved not to be talking about race
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Then Trump emphasizes how "filthy" China and India are He concludes by talking about the importance of not destroying industry in the name of fighting climate change
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Biden talks about the deadly importance of addressing climate change and points out that Trump revoked many protection policies put in place by the Obama administration He talks about all the jobs that fighting climate change can create
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Biden says Wall Street likes his plan better than Trump Trump claims Biden's plan was created by "AOC Plus Three" and they know nothing about climate change He shit talks Biden's desire to reduce energy leakage in buildings. Basically just says it's all dumb
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Trump talking about how much Biden loves teeny tiny windows, just obsessed with tiny windows, the large window demographic must be absolutely thrilled right now
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Biden reminds everyone that Trump once said windmills cause cancer "I know more about wind than you do!" Trump retorts Biden laughs "They kill all the birds!" Biden laughs harder
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Finally, Trump gets to talk about fracking Biden categorically rules out banning fracking. Trump looks very pleased I really don't think Big Frack is going to save him. I know they're powerful but even they can't resurrect the dead
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Two old men compete for who loves fracking more
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Trump asked about the health impact on families that live close to oil wells as a result of him rolling back regulations Trump says they're making lots of money. Especially Hispanic people I say again: it's certainly a choice
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Biden talks about the health hazards from chemical plants. How he knows about it from his time in Delaware. How all kinds of people got cancer because of the pollution Trump looks bored as fuck, then remembers he's supposed to look sad when people talk about cancer
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Trump asks Biden whether he'd close the oil wells. Biden says that yes, he would, because they make people sick "That's a big statement," Trump says, and he's right Biden says he won't give any more federal subsidies to oil
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"Biden says he's going to destroy the oil industry. WIll you remember that, Texas? Pennsylvania? Oklahoma? Ohio?" Another rare good moment for Trump
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We are on to "leadership" Trump asked what he'll say to Americans who didn't vote for him The president talks about restoring America to the perfection it used to be before "the plague" Biden pointedly tucks his pen back into his suit pocket
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Trump says Biden will destroy the economy. Biden looks off into the middle distance
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Biden asked what he'll say to those who didn't vote for him. He says the political thing about how he'll be a president for everyone. "Choose hope over fear." Heinous fluffy bullshit, but his opponent's corpse is literally putrefying next to him so who cares
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IT'S OVER I'm smiling for the first time in days. It's such a pleasure to see Trump verbally stabbed to death on live TV for an hour and a half straight I'm going to go for a walk and bask in this strange and unfamiliar glow of satisfaction
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(for those who don't know, I'm one of the 5 people who thought Trump won the first debate so this isn't Biden rose-colored-glasses, I assure you)
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End of conversation
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