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All of this to say that this morning I saw that someone with a press pass affiliated with my group was arrested for an alleged crime more out of line with the idea of journalism than the usual trumped-up charges of resisting arrest or riot The lie of the abuser got to me
I let loyalty to an organization and to my comrades combine with my own fear to produce something toxic. I backed a statement that enforced the lie of the abuser. If only he hadn't worn the pass or been unwise enough to show his face If only, if only: maybe I could be safe
This incident has shaken me. I pride myself on bravery but what happened today was cowardice The truth is, I've been virtually non-functional for a while now. I'm not really sleeping. I don't really eat unless someone makes me. I feel nauseous most of the time
I thought I could gut my way through it but clearly it's begun to affect my judgment and ability to stand strong against all the shit raining down on us I'm truly sorry for this. I am ashamed
I'm going to take a few days off from Twitter and the protests. Try to recover to the point where I can be useful again. I will be back by Friday Solidarity forever
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