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I remember a time when mass shootings paralyzed me with sadness. The fact that someone had been so unhappy, so warped that indiscriminate killing seemed the only way out felt almost unbearably tragic.
And then I remember a point when I got real angry at people trying to "politicize" shootings, but I think I was actually mad at myself because I no longer felt sadness so strongly. I can't mourn all the time, but that's what shooting frequency increasingly demands.
Now, when shootings happen, the sum total of my emotional reaction is to sigh and say, "was it a white nationalist this time, an incel, a crazy person, or all three?" This isn't healthy, but it's where I'm at in 2019
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