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zenmac

  1. RT @trevor_walsh: Why does my dad keep buying me all of these helium balloons?
  2. If your new show's poster has only a picture of Courtney Cox on it, you've made a miscalculation.
  3. @hookjd That's just what the jellyfish want you to do. // hookjd: Is considering moving to Texas to avoid stingrays.
  4. Okay, Twitter, I've been neglecting you, but I'm going to give this another chance.
  5. @ReviewThumb Why is the poster for The Time Traveler's Wife turned sideways?
  6. Thanks for the birthday wishes, everybody. You were right: I DID have a happy birthday.
  7. A producer just said our pay would be "penurious." I had to look it up. Turns out, it does not mean "a lot."
  8. DirecTV guy woke me up at the crack of dawn for the second consecutive Saturday. This would be less infuriating if I was a customer.
  9. The iPhone touchscreen works best if instead of mashing it with a thumb you tap it delicately with the very tip of your penis. #imdrunk
  10. I think McDonald's is having their "Fat Kids Eat Free" promotion today.
  11. Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when you'll end up with a mouthful of nuts. #1stdraftmovielines
  12. I just read on Perez Hilton that Jenna Fischer is marrying a guy I went to high school with. That's weird, right?
  13. All this Michael Jackson coverage is making it difficult to imbue my life with any meaning.
  14. Traditional July 4th baby juggling. http://yfrog.com/0xwd9j
  15. Follow whoever you like. Why is this suddenly my problem?
  16. @Caissie Thanks! Who needs to know each other when we have Twitter?
  17. Bad sign when your advertising implies your star's imminent demise? http://yfrog.com/0d410gj
  18. @tiggrzz Is broadcasting your daily horoscope to all your followers a Gemini thing?
  19. @ellenpaige Sunday night maybe? I'll be there too!
  20. DOWN #unnecessarysequels