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  1. @earthdog Happy birthday, Rich! / Please enjoy your special day / Wiser and better!
  2. Many days, no tweets / Inspiration did not strike. / Poetry is dead
  3. What Satanic deal / did Donny & Marie make? / Perky forever
  4. @tivo All's Apprentice task: / "Make a viral video" / By committee? Pssh.
  5. Outside the wind blows / Yet Conficker bides its time. / Zombie stomachs growl.
  6. @restrick Twitter is not real / But somehow, like a vacuum / It sucks away time
  7. @kfury To write a novel / Takes about one or two years / Reading it? A day.
  8. We who watch watchmen / Will always have to wonder / Who is watching me?
  9. At the Junior zoo / Sophie learned a few new words / She says "bat" and "goose"
  10. Stopped to buy donuts / But left my wallet at home / "Sorry sir, no checks"
  11. This "Mandatory / Harassment Prevention" class -- / Must I attend? Yes.
  12. After heavy rain / Their arrival is certain / Ants ants ants ants ants
  13. Mmmm cake but I'm glad / No more eating holidays / Until July fourth
  14. Sleeping fitfully / She only wants to be held / 100 degrees
  15. Both the children sleep / Clutching blankets, at full peace / Tiny snores, big dreams
  16. An elegant proof / I found, but alas, too small / To fit in this tweet
  17. Tahoe's Schooner hill / Last had new snow on Christmas / Perfect sledding ice
  18. It should take four hours / But our Tahoe trip took six. / We stopped seven times
  19. Finally packed / In the car and Tahoe bound / Then Sophie threw up
  20. Is there a feeling / That is more bittersweet than / Taking down the tree?