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yhf

  1. RT @EntropyAS: Gist of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: It's OK to make fun of people who are different because you can count on them to ... about 2 hours ago from web
  2. This spoon-rest reads "Home Sweet Home". It should probably read "Canned Soup Preparation Zone". about 16 hours ago from txt
  3. This BlackBerry outage is the best Droid marketing scheme ever. about 16 hours ago from Tweetie
  4. I had hearing problems as a child and was therefore shocked to learn at 25 that the Holy Family was in fact NOT Beatrix, Jerry and Portia. about 19 hours ago from txt
  5. I accidentally took two Xanax instead of my blood pressure meds today and I feel bad for the recipients of these emails I'm sending at work. 10:17 AM Dec 22nd from web
  6. One of the best things about being quoted without attribution is that even if you're misquoted, you don't owe any explanations. 10:45 AM Dec 19th from txt
  7. Whoa, missy. I don't know what those boots are really made for, but walking is definitely secondary. 5:17 AM Dec 18th from txt
  8. @sista_flapjack I'm so sorry to hear. My condolences. :( 10:01 AM Dec 17th from Tweetie in reply to sista_flapjack
  9. @tenderlove Happy Birthday! Make mine a loop entry statement! Um, please. 7:36 AM Dec 16th from web
  10. If you gave that guy a trumpet, everything he played would be in the key of Bitter. 1:03 PM Dec 15th from txt
  11. I have trouble saying "no" to people and I'm starting to wonder if "Yield" is an astrological sign. 6:12 AM Dec 14th from txt
  12. There is not any parallel universe where "I'll just use the restroom at WalMart" is a Good Idea. 5:32 PM Dec 13th from txt
  13. Ghiardelli squares and fingernails, cheap as free!! 10:34 AM Dec 12th from txt
  14. If everything at Dollar General actually went for one dollar, they wouldn't be able to open a new store every twenty minutes in this town. 10:32 AM Dec 12th from txt
  15. @girlvanized I considered adding more disclaimer-speak but couldn't find a way to make any of it not insulting. Also? Further noted. 9:54 AM Dec 11th from SocialScope in reply to girlvanized
  16. @girlvanized Noted. 9:35 AM Dec 11th from Tweetie in reply to girlvanized
  17. @Aimee_B_Loved "The rain in Spain falls mainly--WHO TAUGHT YOU TO DRIVE, COUSINFELCHING LUMBERFUCKER" 5:07 PM Dec 10th from web in reply to Aimee_B_Loved
  18. Did I tweet about how I know "colder than a witch's tit" could still be pretty warm because I dated a Wiccan, or did I decide that was TMI? 5:11 AM Dec 10th from Birdhouse
  19. @girlvanized Pestilence? Or is there a Shitty Music Horseman? 6:37 PM Dec 9th from Tweetie in reply to girlvanized
  20. 311 on the jukebox is just the tip of the iceberg that is the ninth circle of hell. 3:45 PM Dec 9th from Tweetie