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yhf

  1. RT @EntropyAS: Gist of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer: It's OK to make fun of people who are different because you can count on them to ...
  2. This spoon-rest reads "Home Sweet Home". It should probably read "Canned Soup Preparation Zone".
  3. This BlackBerry outage is the best Droid marketing scheme ever.
  4. I had hearing problems as a child and was therefore shocked to learn at 25 that the Holy Family was in fact NOT Beatrix, Jerry and Portia.
  5. I accidentally took two Xanax instead of my blood pressure meds today and I feel bad for the recipients of these emails I'm sending at work.
  6. One of the best things about being quoted without attribution is that even if you're misquoted, you don't owe any explanations.
  7. Whoa, missy. I don't know what those boots are really made for, but walking is definitely secondary.
  8. @sista_flapjack I'm so sorry to hear. My condolences. :(
  9. @tenderlove Happy Birthday! Make mine a loop entry statement! Um, please.
  10. If you gave that guy a trumpet, everything he played would be in the key of Bitter.
  11. I have trouble saying "no" to people and I'm starting to wonder if "Yield" is an astrological sign.
  12. There is not any parallel universe where "I'll just use the restroom at WalMart" is a Good Idea.
  13. Ghiardelli squares and fingernails, cheap as free!!
  14. If everything at Dollar General actually went for one dollar, they wouldn't be able to open a new store every twenty minutes in this town.
  15. @girlvanized I considered adding more disclaimer-speak but couldn't find a way to make any of it not insulting. Also? Further noted.
  16. @girlvanized Noted.
  17. @Aimee_B_Loved "The rain in Spain falls mainly--WHO TAUGHT YOU TO DRIVE, COUSINFELCHING LUMBERFUCKER"
  18. Did I tweet about how I know "colder than a witch's tit" could still be pretty warm because I dated a Wiccan, or did I decide that was TMI?
  19. @girlvanized Pestilence? Or is there a Shitty Music Horseman?
  20. 311 on the jukebox is just the tip of the iceberg that is the ninth circle of hell.