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yesbutnobutjeem

  1. Mad regrets about DJ AM. I had totally planned on hearing of him and looking him up on Wikipedia before he died.
  2. By the way, shouldn't it be either "uknowuuglywhen" or "youknowyouuglywhen"? Friends don't let fucktards start hashtags. #uknowyouuglywhen
  3. #uknowyouuglywhen the Walmart greeter won't let you in unless you're wearing a service animal harness.
  4. James & The Giant Peach Schnapps Bottle #failedchildrensbooktitles
  5. "Charlie & The Dildo Factory," & its sequel, "Charlie & The Great Glass Double-Dong" #failedchildrensbooktitles
  6. Heather Has Two Mommies And An "Uncle" Who's Always Videotaping Them #failedchildrensbooktitles
  7. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Lay #failedchildrensbooktitles
  8. Where The Zipper Ends #failedchildrensbooktitles
  9. At an Ice-T show in 1992, I was declared his "#1 Fan," pulled on stage, where I rapped "New Jack Hustler" with him. #lameclaimtofame
  10. While puffing in a film fest party parking lot, limo pulled up and Peter Fonda told me to "quit bogarting that joint, man!" #lameclaimtofame
  11. "Love means never having to say you farted." #1stdraftmovies
  12. Disheartening Sign of Impending Mortality #518: most of the women you see in "MILF" porn are the same age or younger than you.
  13. My theory for why Islam never caught on huge in the US? It doesn't have a kickass rock musical like "Jesus Christ Superstar."
  14. I never thought I would say this, but even porn stars are boring now. Thanks, Twitter.
  15. Watching MJ Memorial, wondering when the Vienna Boys Choir will be singing "P.Y.T."
  16. The Greatest '80s Music Video You've Never Seen: http://bit.ly/11SeUW
  17. I am shocked by the news about Karl Malden... you mean he didn't already die years ago?
  18. Firefox 3? I didn't even know they made ONE sequel to Clint Eastwood's 1982 psychic-airplane-theft flick, let alone a 3rd! Booya!
  19. Shit, no Vibe Magazine any more? I guess rappers will just have to shoot each other at the BET Awards from now on.
  20. Just in case anyone was wondering, no, I did not fall to my death from a cliff in New Zealand, either.