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ybothr

  1. Bite me. Your Birkenstocks, cut-offs & tie-dyed say slacker. But the dents in you calves from today’s dress socks don’t lie. 8:24 PM Jun 23rd from web
  2. Upon seeing a lady in a white sundress & colored panties some people use phrases like slutty, tacky or clueless. Mine's simpler: Thank you. 8:18 PM Jun 23rd from web
  3. The company of young beautiful women makes me feel alive and virile. It also makes me wonder what ever happened to that sperm donation. 4:20 PM Jun 22nd from TinyTwitter
  4. @NotHot This may be the sexiest tweet I've ever read. BRB. RT This Father's Day, forget you have a family that needs you and watch golf. 1:37 PM Jun 21st from TinyTwitter
  5. Pool's Law: The amount of skin a person shows is directly proportional to the amount you wish they didn't. 1:14 PM Jun 21st from web
  6. Twitterbelle says my favorites are funny mothers married to other people. What I'm trying to say is, today I've actually become my father. 1:10 PM Jun 21st from web
  7. Every summer the congressional aides come and spawn in the waters of the Potomac, fearing only their natural enemy, the Cougar. 7:29 PM Jun 19th from TinyTwitter
  8. Four more people whose tweets I look forward to. And who rarely end a sentence with a preposition. @yhf @JeeNeeBee @linajk @JoannaOrcutt #ff 7:41 AM Jun 19th from web
  9. Yes. I'm aware I screwed up that joke. The hot, fanny-pack wearing foreigner was distracting me. 7:36 PM Jun 18th from TinyTwitter
  10. 1.Fanny pack 2.Hot 3.Non-native English speaker. Choose two...eh, screw it. Even your sexy accent can't save you. 7:29 PM Jun 18th from TinyTwitter
  11. God, my tweets will never be as ironic as real life. Morgan Friedman’s latest film in post-production is called “The Maiden Heist.” 12:11 PM Jun 18th from web
  12. Mousavi? That's made with filo dough, right? 10:41 AM Jun 18th from web
  13. I, for one, am excited about the Alien prequel. I can't wait to see what Sigourney Weaver looked like before the sex change. 10:38 AM Jun 18th from web
  14. A gentlefish and a scholar and a fine judge of women and boats #nicerfilmtitles 7:46 PM Jun 17th from TinyTwitter
  15. What! I lost pornbot followers? Look, I'm sorry. I should never have joked that A-Rod slept with Mr. Roboto. Mr. Roboto wouldn't do that 7:16 AM Jun 17th from web
  16. @JoannaOrcutt Be still my Tell-Tale Heart. You could Annabel Lee'd the hell out of that one. Fortunately, you're not as lame as me. 6:42 PM Jun 16th from web in reply to JoannaOrcutt
  17. Now that Usher's getting divorced, where are the "The Fall of the House of Usher" jokes? Dammit, isn't this why you got that English degree? 6:29 PM Jun 16th from web
  18. @NotHot Isn't the godawful smell a warning? From the hipsters, I mean. 6:14 PM Jun 16th from TinyTwitter in reply to NotHot
  19. @CampNicole Damn autocorrect. It must be because I use inches a lot to describe ... um.. other stuff. 12:50 PM Jun 16th from TinyTwitter in reply to CampNicole
  20. To increase followers, later today I’ll announce I’m a hot 6” blonde and once killed a man with my vagina. Oh, and I’ll tweet sometimes too. 11:48 AM Jun 16th from web