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xithejuryx

  1. my first run-in with poison oak in years left me with three big scars. no, i didn't scratch it. 1:09 PM Dec 3rd from web
  2. Mr. Airport man steals $60 worth of almond butter from me, threatens to call the actual man if i 'keep sassing' him. 5:26 AM Nov 25th from txt
  3. Supermom in escalade: 'are you okay out here, sweetie? It's nighttime! Do you need a ride?' ah, the perks of looking like a 12 year old. 10:39 PM Nov 22nd from txt
  4. Since when is 65 degrees "freezing" to me? I'm spoiled. 9:56 PM Nov 22nd from txt
  5. @unexfemme it's okay. i guess we can still be friends. 1:17 PM Nov 20th from web in reply to unexfemme
  6. @unexfemme two more: who. cares. 11:24 AM Nov 19th from Echofon in reply to unexfemme
  7. @veganstraightedge straightedge is like highlander. There can be only one. 4:13 PM Nov 18th from Echofon in reply to veganstraightedge
  8. Hypochondria? There's an app for that. 7:52 PM Nov 16th from Echofon
  9. Liza minelli lookalike sticks her nose in my business, gets verbally flogged by her own manager. Next time, a hot coffee sample to the face. 7:47 PM Nov 16th from Echofon
  10. Yesterday, 'M' cafe. "I wouldn't know a celebrity if I saw one." - then zooey walks in, sits a foot away and turns me into a giggling idiot 8:30 PM Nov 11th from Echofon
  11. @veganstraightedge wrong. It was me getting you back for turning my face into a mucus factory 1:27 PM Nov 11th from Echofon in reply to veganstraightedge
  12. Bedridden. Thanks, @veganstraightedge 1:24 PM Nov 11th from Echofon
  13. @_callous of course. how could I not? 10:51 PM Nov 7th from Echofon in reply to _callous
  14. Wow. Chicken of the woods is really, really good. Not just that 'good because it's wild' good, either. @veganstraightedge has pictures 10:46 PM Nov 7th from Echofon
  15. Thousand oaks. Where orange lizard moms go to die. 1:09 PM Nov 6th from txt
  16. Guava poisoning 2:22 PM Nov 3rd from txt
  17. Persimmon tree next to onramp. Next person to shit-talk california gets thrown off a bridge 12:57 PM Nov 3rd from txt
  18. Hitching down highway 1 with random hipster girls blasting sublime. Hi-larious 2:46 PM Nov 2nd from txt
  19. Just watched a bike theft / street justice beatdown from coffee shop window. 10:45 AM Oct 23rd from txt
  20. @_callous like waddling after you yelling "buddy! hey buddy!"? 5:31 PM Oct 21st from web in reply to _callous