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wordtoyourmom

  1. @crustyjuggler72 Happy birthday! I didn't get you a gift because I was too busy laughing at your parrot tweet yesterday. about 22 hours ago from web
  2. @carriefleck Does your twitter background come in fabric? I think it would look nice on my dining room chairs. about 22 hours ago from web
  3. Last night I dreamt I saw Spencer Pratt naked in a bubble bath. And my subconscious didn't even have the decency to kill me in my sleep. 6:52 AM Dec 1st from web
  4. The neat thing about spilling gasoline all over my boots is that this 4-hour drive now has the added bonus of getting me high. 7:15 AM Nov 26th from Tweetie
  5. Ah, Thanksgiving. A time when the entire family can gather together around a table and ask me why I'm not married yet. 6:55 AM Nov 25th from web
  6. In an effort to be more green, I've turned down my heat. Incidentally I am now turning blue. So more like "going teal," really. 1:28 PM Nov 21st from web
  7. No, YOU have a happy birthday, @jephkelley. 9:02 AM Nov 21st from web
  8. Just saw Precious and realize I no longer have the right to complain about anything ever again. Great. There goes all my Twitter material. 8:35 PM Nov 20th from Tweetie
  9. I bet our forefathers would have hated My Two Dads. 6:16 AM Nov 20th from web
  10. @Sharif28 Ha! Awesome. Except they left out the part about how no one *wanted* to go to McCann. 5:54 AM Nov 20th from web in reply to Sharif28
  11. I find that morning yoga is a relaxing, therapeutic way to fracture your neck and spine before starting the workday. 6:24 AM Nov 19th from web
  12. @JephKelley Mind if I use that Alpha-Bits crunching numbers tweet? I've always wanted that one. On another note: Ohhhhh snnnaaap! 1:24 PM Nov 18th from web
  13. Upstairs neighbor is blasting a Poison album. Not sure whether to bang on the ceiling with a broom or roll around on the hood of his car. 7:07 PM Nov 17th from web
  14. @danaynay I may have her stars, but alas, I'll never have her heart. (Cue @danaynay/@GoNowGo slo-mo montage set to "My Heart Will Go On.") 3:57 PM Nov 17th from web
  15. @GoNowGo For being such a good customer, I'm sending you these limited edition golden burritos! http://tinyurl.com/yd3xd86 12:33 PM Nov 17th from web
  16. SHUT UP! *Lots* of women my age go to Dinosaur Camp! (runs off crying) 12:09 PM Nov 17th from web
  17. I had my first kiss at Dinosaur Camp. He really dug my fossils. I liked his "Dino-Mite Kid" shirt. Dating was simpler in the mesozoic era. 8:48 AM Nov 17th from web
  18. It's been raining so long, I'm officially starting to mildew. (I think "Fellas?" is implied here.) 10:57 AM Nov 13th from web
  19. When someone gets on my nerves, I find it helps to lace their coffee with cyanide. You only need a teaspo-- I mean, what? 6:14 AM Nov 13th from web
  20. Oh Alan Thicke, why are you so awesome http://bit.ly/3fwYNQ 5:04 PM Nov 12th from web
  • Name W.T. Mom
  • Location Richmond Va
  • Bio I like things that are awesome. I am not an actual mom, like, of children.
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