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wordlust

  1. These fried yak testicles are making me thirsty... about 1 hour ago from web
  2. Let’s all work together to get kids off the street and into my dungeon. The polar bears are famished. about 3 hours ago from web
  3. RT @Dogphorisms We should build a big fence to keep out cats. They’re taking our jobs! about 3 hours ago from web
  4. The Dolly Parton of man boobs: http://bit.ly/716Iy0 about 4 hours ago from web
  5. journalist-ic-y-ish: http://bit.ly/6Sk5Bu @AndyCobb about 4 hours ago from web
  6. The most annoying part of being crucified was probably idiots in the crowd waving those giant foam fingers. That and the wave. about 21 hours ago from web
  7. I hate when I mix up my squeegee and snorkel, or my sister and girlfriend... 12:10 PM Nov 28th from web
  8. When you fire spitballs at the abyss, the abyss spits fireballs at your cornhole. That’s just how the abyss was raised. 10:06 AM Nov 28th from web
  9. RT @Dogphorisms My owner taught me to pick up *his* poo in a bag. I wonder why he got arrested... 9:00 AM Nov 28th from web
  10. The Joan Collins of interplanetary conflict: http://bit.ly/4EP7EK 8:33 AM Nov 28th from web
  11. nu-diddly-ude: http://bit.ly/625Nri @kidko92 7:50 AM Nov 28th from web
  12. Remember, when you point the finger at someone, three other fingers are tickling your balls. 11:45 AM Nov 27th from web
  13. Rejected healthcare slogans: Burn in health! Health for leather. You go to health and you die! 9:56 AM Nov 27th from web
  14. Holiday history: Traditionally, Black Friday is the day Mrs. Claus snorkels an elf. 9:15 AM Nov 27th from web
  15. RT @Dogphorisms Goddamn right we’re smart as two-year-olds. Some of these kids are still pissing in the house. Were they raised by wolves? 8:44 AM Nov 27th from web
  16. name-pun-mageddon: http://bit.ly/4wNswO @ANewBandADay 8:08 AM Nov 27th from web
  17. I’m thankful for the little things, like the shrunken heads of my enemies. Those guys are all right! 10:01 AM Nov 26th from web
  18. RT @Dogphorisms I’m the Wilt Chamberlain of dogs. My sexual exploits are legendary, and I ate 100 goose turds in one afternoon. 9:05 AM Nov 26th from web
  19. The Dirk Diggler of shaving tools: http://bit.ly/8g3sZv 8:34 AM Nov 26th from web
  20. If a baby is baptized in pancake batter, God will be pleased. Child services, not so much. http://bit.ly/2lx323 7:33 AM Nov 26th from web
  • Name Mark Peters
  • Location Chicago
  • Web http://pancakepro...
  • Bio Mark is a language columnist, humorist, and assistant regional armpit plucker.
294 Following 473 Followers 44 Listed
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