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whoredujour

  1. Nothing to see here. Nervous/Emotional/Psychological breakdowns happen every day in this town. Good day to you.
  2. When I get lonely I wish I had a pet, but they can't talk. So I'd still technically be alone. Maybe I can get a midget instead?
  3. The word whore isn't derogatory. Call me a slut and I'm insulted. They fuck any one. Whores have standards.
  4. I can cook dinner or wait for a cute guy to call me and ask me out. Never mind. Cooking it is.
  5. I contemplated a career in comedy, but unless they change it from stand up, to lay down, I'm not interested.
  6. He told me to take my pants off. Then, to lay down and relax. All he needs to do is kiss me and this GYN visit is the best one ever.
  7. He said it never happened before. So, apparently with everyone else he can fuck for hours, but I get $12 dollar pasta and 9 minutes.
  8. The chimichanga with beans I had for lunch means that not only won't I get anyone else to fuck me, but I won't even want to fuck myself.
  9. Its a three day weekend. I haven't been this excited since KY sent free samples in the mail.
  10. Being a grownup means I have to pay bills and handle responsibilities, but it also means I can have pretzels and m&m's for breakfast.
  11. I'm trying to figure out this Twitter thing. And I'm anxious to get to the part where I sleep with some of you to gain followers.
  12. Deciding on a pair of panties. Boy shorts will spend most of the day stuck in my crack. Granny panties will slide down my hip. I can't win.
  13. I guess since I don't have my tits as my avatar, i won't be getting any followers anytime soon?
  14. He said he'd call me later. I'll just turn my ringer off so he doesn't hear me hiding in his closet when he does.
  15. Somebody needs to talk me through this. Preferably with no pants on.
  16. Relationship drama is like crack, and I'm an addicted, shoeless hobo.