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Truth is I hate this holiday. It's just 24 hours of waiting to hear about something terrible happening. Like Groundhog Day, or Thanksgiving.about 13 hours agofrom Birdfeed
Jump to the side, swivel your hips. Now jump back with a smile on your lips. Wiggle if you get a chance. Everyone's doin' the Indepen-dance.about 14 hours agofrom Birdfeed
I am flattered that you named your penis after me, @steelopus. Were it up to me, I would let it watch both films.8:54 PM Jul 3rdfrom Birdfeed
There was a time when I believed I would never make the amount of money I just agreed to spend. Here's hoping that isn't the case.9:46 PM Jul 2ndfrom Birdfeed
I'm new to @chaztoo, but I'd like it if some other people followed him because I'm afraid to ask him to explain some of these jokes.10:30 AM Jul 2ndfrom web
I'm cutting ties with this shitty joke about misspelling 'Magnadoodle' forever. We tried, Birdhouse. There's no shame in letting go.8:26 PM Jul 1stfrom Birdhouse
"What did the cat say after the tomato? He didn't eat it, I ate it!" I assure you the 3yo will be punished for this poor excuse for a joke.6:06 PM Jul 1stfrom Birdfeed
