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WaFBelieves

  1. The Barometric Pressure is dropping in the Tri-County area - like my pants after a few too many tequila shots. Am I right, Barbara? Stan?
  2. No K9s. They're out. I want to show the sliminess of crime on the streets. I'm thinking a salamander for the partner. I want Turner & Gooch.
  3. A teardrop rolled down the cheek of Kenny G as he looked at his album in the 'Jazz Classics' section of the FYE Superstore. He had made it.
  4. For the single "Havana", Kenny G spent weeks studying film footage of Fidel Castro & then created a melody based upon the Cuban's movements.
  5. Kenny G had quite a laugh in 1993 when, after telling an elderly woman he was a musician from Seattle, she asked if he was in a grunge band.
  6. Though it sounded very cute, Kenny G would not like to be a part of the 'Arm Wrestling with Josh Groban' sketch on that comedy program.
  7. Kenny G respectfully turned down Rivers Cuomo's offering of a Weezer Snuggie since he had plenty of his own signature Snuggies lying around.
  8. Kenny G brushed a perfectly coiled lock of hair away from his eyes and informed the rapt audience that they ain't seen nothin' yet.
  9. Kenny G didn't speak or even look at his wife for two whole days after she 'accidently' threw out his brand new issue of Golf Digest.
  10. After breaking the world record for the longest note ever recorded on a sax, Kenny G celebrated with a nice bottle of rosé & some chocolate.
  11. When Kenny G caught his son Max making masturbatory gestures with one of his flutes he knew who was going to be doing the dishes ALL WEEK.
  12. Kenny G, shopping for his tour, thought 'Better safe than sorry' & added the store's entire stock of travel size curl shampoo into his cart.
  13. Frankenstein's monster & its bride loved romantic candlelit dinners but the villagers' torches & hostile cries were really killing the mood.
  14. Van Helsing's weakness was farting when under stress. Luckily he had scarfed down some garlic knots for lunch so Dracula kept his distance.
  15. The Creature from the Black Lagoon blushed to the gills after Kay's mom gave him a severe reprimand for ogling Kay in her polka dot bikini.
  16. The Mummy, now naked, was too slow for the brats who just used his sacred wrappings to toilet paper the trees of their classmate's home.
  17. The Wolfman set up the overhead projector & began his sales pitch for a 50 blade disposable razor to the delicious smelling Gillette execs.
  18. 4 out of 10 kangaroos would steal your car and use it for illegal street racing if it wasn't 'one of those pussy hybrids'.
  19. 'Spice up any outfit with a papal scepter and palm frond thong!'
  20. The Whore of Metaphor fucks the sentence and takes its money.