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vive

  1. I turn 4 today. That's like 252 in cat years.
  2. Getting weighed. I'm 70 pounds now. After todays twelve dumps, I imagine.
  3. Chasing a mosquito around the backyard.
  4. Discovering the joys of humping a throw pillow.
  5. Going to my mom's house for a few days while my dad fixes our place up. She picked me and my sister up today, and I took a shit in the MINI!
  6. Watching my dad hose off my sister. Probably because I peed on her head at the park.
  7. Wondering why James keeps calling me Buster. I think I'll lunge towards his lower body one more time and find out.
  8. Barking my fuzzy little blonde butt hairs off. Because, hey, it's after midnight on a Monday.
  9. Looking for something to take a dump on. Hey, there's a sprinkler...
  10. Rubbing my back on the lawn. Not sure why. But hey, my sister does it. So what the hell.
  11. Lapping up beer off the patio that my old my old man spilled while he's painting something.
  12. Getting a bath after swimming in the sea on my second birthday. Talk about things going from really good to really sucky. Sheesh.
  13. Turning two years old today. That officially puts me in the plurals.
  14. Barking my nuts off. Wait, they already removed those when I was a baby. Those assholes.
  15. Chasing a bird across the lawn as if I would ever actually catch him.
  16. Running over to where my sister just took a dump. I figure I should probably check it out.
  17. Pretending to be too cute to know it's not cool to take a stroll through the house after digging through the wet flowerbed out back.
  18. Barking at a peacock and wondering what bluish green tastes like.
  19. Barking my ass off at something. It's probably nothing, but hey, better safe than sorry.
  20. Drinking water and peeing on the corner of the garage.