verdandi
Yoga: For thousands of years, satisfying man's inner desire to stand on his neck.
| Yoga classes are great for imagining that you're a giant velociraptor stomping Tokyo in slow motion. |
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| Crazy visiting analyst: you can take my office, but you cannot take my FREEEEDOOOOOM. Or my Twix. I see you; put that shit down. |
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| There are beasties in Harry Potter books that suck out souls?JK Rowling & I MUST have the same vacuum.In related news:I *DO* live in a hole. |
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| With this weather, Boston deserves a chapter in _The Comprehensive Guide to Wet T-Shirt Contests._ So ya, the white dress was a poor choice. |
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| Power went out, & it was just announced that a transformer exploded. Have an urge to shriek, "NOT OPTIMUS PRIME!" Which would NOT be funny. |
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| MAN IN CAPE! Man, my nerd-dar is going absolutely nuts today. Is Boston having a ComCon? I'd better wear a helmet. |
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| So glad I have a cat that protects my apartment from marauding rolls of paper towels while I'm away. |
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| Lex told me that the housemates in his Philly campus sublet were short, but this is fucking Oompa Loompa Land. |
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| "Yes, I didnt! No, I did! Uh, whatever is the more submissive answer." -L |
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| Amtrak: f* you in the nostril. You employed the whole short bus? Give me back my rewards points or I'll put a snake in your mailbox. XOXO, V |
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| @FarkerPeaceboy _Baby Einstein_ would be a safer bet. |
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| Your pants aren't 'alternative.' They're backwards. |
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| Oh, so the product I want isn't available, but *millions of other items* are? Whoopee. You enjoy adding insult to injury, don't you, Amazon. |
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| And the winner of the Software with the Most Ironic Name Award: MICROSOFT EXCEL. |
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| Cleaning cat fluff from the couch is an exercise in futility. Feels like a Kubrick movie: _The Shedding._ ... That would've been such a hit. |
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| Was so tired that I thought the options on the coffee machine included COFFEE, HOT WATER, and LET THE KEURIG CHOOSE. |
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| "I'm working on my people skills" is the new "I'm plotting to end you." |
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| disoriented post-26 straight work hrs.now, the gym is a block away...but i'm calling 40% chance I can't find it. THAZ WHY I GOT BREAD CRUMBZ |
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| "I can totally do that." --MIT dude, pointing at a baby happily slapping the sides of his own face with both feet. |
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