VentingPlasma
-
No vacation plan ever survives first contact with the enemy.
4:19 PM Nov 23rd
from Birdfeed
-
"It's amazing what a little pruning can do." -- Words you never want to hear your boss say...even if she is talking about growing grapes.
11:59 AM Nov 19th
from web
-
Hmm? Why yes, that is a die-cast Dr. Doom Ambulance on my desk. Would you like to see…Oh, I get it. Why yes, I am a hypocrite.
7:29 AM Nov 16th
from web
-
This Twilight madness has to stop. Two 40+ year old women in the office are collecting the Matchbox cars based on the movies...
7:28 AM Nov 16th
from web
-
No, Mike Bloomberg. I will not vote to make you mayor of a town I don't live in, so let me just watch this game trailer in peace.
7:42 AM Oct 23rd
from web
-
Caterwaul: 1) to make a harsh cry, 2) to protest or complain noisily, 3) what I am hearing right now
7:15 AM Oct 22nd
from web
-
Tried a magic trick - passing my car through an SUV. It did not go as planned.
7:03 PM Sep 9th
from web
-
Everyone in the office is staring out the window at a pair of fighter jets flying awfully close to the ground.
10:12 AM Aug 20th
from web
-
Merging social presences.
4:08 PM Jul 13th
from web
-
Lee Majors is now pimping bionic hearing aids - going deaf has never been more awesome!
8:33 AM May 8th
from txt
-
Just had my picture taken for an "internal" project at work...assuming it's for a photo lineup. Now I HAVE to kill that witness.
1:30 PM May 7th
from web
-
Swine flu paranoia is reaching critical mass - just received a company e-mail covering outbreak readiness procedures.
1:10 PM May 6th
from web
-
Midnight showing of Wolverine. Snikt, bub.
10:14 PM Apr 30th
from txt
-
Just passed by a van towing a cannon - a fracking cannon.
2:35 PM Apr 23rd
from txt
-
Reading about nut butters at work. You know, nut butters - any creamy spread made from crushed nuts. What did you think I meant? Pervert.
8:43 AM Apr 20th
from web
-
Sometimes I'll send myself an e-mail detailing how much I hate me...you know, just to keep in touch.
2:19 PM Apr 10th
from web
-
You know what I miss? When a blizzard used to mean no work for the day. Now it just means work from home for the day...in the nude.
10:34 AM Mar 26th
from web
-
Window washer just scared the piss out of me, and I'm presently brimming with adrenaline--now if only there were a car that needed lifting.
8:06 AM Mar 20th
from web
-
I question how the author of this e-mail knows that I have a small penis. Perhaps it is time to invest in better curtains...
1:30 PM Mar 19th
from web
-
One can only write about Brazilian fertilizer companies for so long before your life calls to let you know that you failed at it.
10:54 AM Mar 11th
from web
|
|
