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vandelayinc

  1. IN RESPONSE TO THINKING OF BEING A GAY MAN: It takes a lot of determination to suck a cock.
  2. "I think when she hit maturity she broke up with me."
  3. A burn victim who smokes is almost as ironic as Rockwell reporting a stalker.
  4. Someone once told me "you can't be right ALL the time!". Well guess what, that fucker was WRONG.
  5. Don't be hatin' on my chinchillas!
  6. "She doesn't need a reason, she's a psychologist"
  7. I want to fuck you while screaming, "I SLAY DRAGONS!"
  8. Sorry, I have a hard time getting confused
  9. If a kid with Progeria lives to be 18, does that make his progeria Warners Disease?
  10. "ME WANT MALIBU BARBIE!!!"
  11. It's called A.D.D. because they can't concentrate long enough to say the entire thing.
  12. "Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?"
  13. Can Gene Simmons french kiss, or does he just suck out your soul?
  14. It's not what's on the outside that counts, it's how many women you're inside of that counts
  15. "It was something about virginity and a dirty bathroom"
  16. "Herpes is what you get when you don't have your cooties checked."
  17. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I'm a lady"
  18. WOFL "wiggling on the floor laughing", it's like ROFL but for special kids
  19. "I think it's funny that German doesn't have a word for 'share' "
  20. When asked what my favorite part of a woman is, I say lips. She thinks I'm being romantic, and I think about eating her out.