vampisaurus
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Spraining my ankle is not the worst thing to happen to me today; more aching is losing the remote control w/ Tyler Perry's House of Payne on
about 4 hours ago
from web
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The diet pills I'm taking just informed me that alcohol neutralizes any effects. So in essence neither you or my scale need to do the math.
about 7 hours ago
from Tweetie
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You guys are a bunch of crassholes.
about 9 hours ago
from Tweetie
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People who use the word "folks" are really dating themselves. Now if you'll excuse me I need to put on my knickers and camisole.
about 10 hours ago
from Tweetie
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@ I paid $30 for a manicure but my boyfriend made me depressed and I bit my nails.
about 18 hours ago
from web
in reply to slugworthy
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@ Yeah you made me cry the other day.. But You make me laugh
about 18 hours ago
from web
in reply to beersuds
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@ I only bring Brussels Sprouts... And them things are nasty. do you accept?
about 18 hours ago
from web
in reply to mikey_moon
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@ @ Kindred spirt I am, listening to Waiting Room four times trying to add you two to my lists.
about 19 hours ago
from web
in reply to Spinchange
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@ LOVE FUGAZI
about 19 hours ago
from web
in reply to Ryan_Please
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@ Well I am very fortunate, when I bounce a quarter off my ass it is like a piggy bank, secured in a cellulite hole, for later use
about 21 hours ago
from web
in reply to 1surlygurl
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@ WOahhh did you really have to go there... WOW! You win. Except we bought Schiltz beer, "Quanity not Quality."
about 21 hours ago
from web
in reply to gmacmcd
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I'm a role model to my students. When they ask me if I drank Hennessy and coke in high school I say, no that is throwing away money. MD2020.
about 22 hours ago
from web
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Crass-less is to Facebook as Ass-less is to your mom.
about 22 hours ago
from web
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There is only one @ on this joint, everyone else relies on "CRASS" for their funny; except me, I choose to belittle my students.
about 23 hours ago
from web
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I thrive under pressure and do all my XMas shopping at the last minute. I just hope my mother will enjoy her "Mahogany" Kwanza Xmas card.
8:19 AM Dec 22nd
from Tweetie
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The cursing, the hissing, the shoving... "NO EFF YOU LADY."
Agh today's mall day is already getting off to a better start than yesterday's.
5:17 AM Dec 22nd
from Tweetie
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Been laying in bed, in sexy lingerie and my Reebok EasyTone (butt boosting) sneakers like lady in ad all day, and all I am is bummed.
4:32 PM Dec 19th
from web
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Gifts from students: A cookie, half of a Little Debbie brownie, and the fact that I'll be failing these cheap bastards next semester.
7:25 AM Dec 18th
from Tweetie
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Tiger's latest affair turns out to be a hog of a cougar, a dog really, however she asserts they were like rabbits in bed. What a snake!
7:03 AM Dec 18th
from Tweetie
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Mother rebuked, first by officials for Tweeting her son's death 37 min. after the drowning, second by Twitterers for not "Live Tweeting."
8:15 AM Dec 17th
from Tweetie
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- Name vampi
- Location Lost in Transylvania
- Bio I'm Vampi not bc I'm a cool vampire 1. Dermatologist says I'm fair skinned and must stay out of sun. 2. Insomnia. If I can't sleep at night?
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