vaginacrabtree
- Scorpio: no news is good news, except when still waiting on a postcard from your vactioning aunt in Mumbai. It's been months, hasn't it?12:40 AM Apr 14th from Tweetie
- Aquarius: Today is for gorging yourself sick on cheap chocolate and drinking beer until you spew. Remember, it's what Jesus would want.7:57 AM Apr 12th from web
- Libra: There's no place like home, is there? When your house is repossessed on Friday, there's no home either.3:49 AM Jul 15th, 2008 from web
- Taurus: The light at the end of the tunnel proves to be an oncoming train on Tuesday, and the trolley service has ran out of hot water.4:18 AM Jun 5th, 2008 from web
- Gemini: Poor literacy skills prove fatal on Tuesday, when far from growing fonder, abscesses make the heart dribble puss into your innards.3:32 PM May 25th, 2008 from web
- Libra: It isn't curiosity that kills the cat but an air rifle pressed against its temple, as you discover on your front lawn on Thursday.3:38 AM May 23rd, 2008 from web
- Scorpio: They call you Stacey. They call you her, they call you Jane. That's not your name, that's not your name. On Sunday.1:47 AM May 22nd, 2008 from web
- Sagittarius: Everyone always said you'd go far, but nobody expected your limbless torso to drift clean across the Atlantic.1:07 AM May 22nd, 2008 from web
- Leo: the other man's grass is always greener, until jealousy sees you pour industrial-strength weedkiller over both it and him on Friday.11:38 PM May 21st, 2008 from web
- Taurus: seemingly you don't know your arse from your elbow, as will be proved on Friday when you suffer an embarrassing case of tennis arse.11:34 AM May 21st, 2008 from web
- Leo : Someone’s knocking at the door. Somebody’s ringing the bell. Someone’s knocking at the door. Somebody’s ringing the bell. On Sunday...12:08 AM May 20th, 2008 from web
- Leo: You’ll enjoy a very normal week, going entirely against your stars which have you down as a torso job in a shallow grave by Thursday.10:40 AM May 18th, 2008 from web
- Cancer: Two wrongs may not make a right but, as you discover on Monday, they're incredible at oral sex, even more so when they're twins.3:19 PM May 17th, 2008 from web
- Aquarius: Diamonds are a girl's best friend and, as you learn tonight, excellent for bribing her into a little monkey chute action.3:08 PM May 17th, 2008 from web
- Gemini: We are all in the gutter, but as you'll discover tomorrow, some of us are unconscious after a 14 hour binge-drinking marathon.7:47 AM May 16th, 2008 from web
- Scorpio: Whoever said you'd be unlucky in love, didn't reckon on the impressive length of your penis, or your vacuous morals.7:20 AM May 16th, 2008 from web
- Taurus: Destiny has an S in her name on Friday. Or maybe an A. Or a T. Anyway, it’s definitely a woman. Or a man. Or it might be Thursday.3:47 AM May 16th, 2008 from web
- Aries: They say time heals all wounds. Perhaps they weren’t referring to the severing of your spinal cord by a toppled grandfather clock.1:14 AM May 16th, 2008 from web
- Libra: A good heart these days is hard to find. Except after a multi-vehicle pile-up, when you can take your pick of any found on the verge.1:01 AM May 16th, 2008 from web
- Leo: You discover Sunday that nothing is certain in life, but for death, taxes and a women's ability to detect you staring at her breasts.12:13 AM May 16th, 2008 from web
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- Name vaginacrabtree
- Location Londonshire
- Bio Your stars, wtih Vagina Crabtree BSc
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