ungraceful
-
@ I saw his sex tape a long time ago & OH MAN I can't reply without offending good people or turning on bad people. Sensitivity is lame.
6:54 PM Nov 20th
from web
in reply to tj
-
Home alone on Friday night is an awful time to watch a documentary on how much sex other people had & are having.
Fuck off, History Channel
6:41 PM Nov 20th
from web
-
@ They say there's no wrong way to eat a Reese's, soooo I have some ideas on where we can start with the candy distribution.
8:53 AM Oct 30th
from web
in reply to abigvictory
-
@ Don't you be horning in on my naked costume and candy rewards. I will cut you-and any child-that gets in my way.
8:52 AM Oct 30th
from web
in reply to essdogg
-
@ I presume Naked Woman is; I'll be there at noon. You'd better break out the Reese's & not the ghetto candy.
8:44 AM Oct 30th
from web
in reply to abigvictory
-
@ You IAAF weasels are everywhere.
4:28 PM Oct 3rd
from TweetDeck
in reply to indefensible
-
I'm watching a History Channel show on iron in between football games.
My testicles must've gotten stuck in my uterus on their way down.
4:18 PM Oct 3rd
from web
-
I am visiting a mattress store w/a hot German student for a school project. I think I'll add "vigorously test mattress springs" to the scope
4:59 AM Sep 16th
from web
-
The searing pain of hot bacon grease in my eye doesn't come close to the pain of seeing over-cooked bacon in my pan. WHY DOES GOD HATE ME?
5:25 AM Sep 12th
from web
-
@ I guess it could have been worse and happened on the floor I spent a good while scrubbing on my hands and knees.
6:58 PM Aug 16th
from TinyTwitter
in reply to frageelay
-
There's nothing like someone soiling a just-scrubbed toilet to get me irrationally angry. I bet this is how serial killers get started. brb.
6:52 PM Aug 16th
from TinyTwitter
-
@ In light of that information, I guess I'll spend next week romancing some skeevey lady I meet in a seedy hotel bar. SCORE.
5:16 AM Jul 30th
from TweetDeck
in reply to fancycwabs
-
I'll be spending all next week in Iowa. I am certain this means I'll be back to posting on Twitter. OMG - DO THEY HAVE THE INTERNET IN IOWA?
5:05 AM Jul 30th
from web
-
@ He's 10! Girls should still be gross to him. He will pay dearly for his tormenting, & I'm gonna recruit his baby sister to help.
5:00 PM Jul 22nd
from web
in reply to doylealbee
-
Me, to son: You didn't touch any boobs at camp, right?
Son: "Ew, that's disgusting...I MEAN AWESOME!"
He might not live through puberty.
4:31 PM Jul 22nd
from web
-
Hiking alone is fun & all until you twist an ankle, smash a knee, & bash an elbow & no one's there to throw a pity party for you. Waaa is me
12:16 PM Jul 18th
from TinyTwitter
-
@ HA. I don't feel too badly since I was hiking in 400-degree heat. Hopefully my scale will take that into consideration.
12:16 PM Jul 13th
from web
in reply to jderekr
-
Seems profusely sweating didn't negate my gorging on BBQ during my trip. The phrase "everything is bigger in Texas" now applies to my ass.
11:55 AM Jul 13th
from web
-
I'm spending Independence Day as our forefathers intended-sitting on my fat ass watching a documentary about the war & eating brownies HOOAH
10:24 AM Jul 4th
from web
-
@ At least they'll be cool-ish! Chances are we'll end up at a pool, too. I'm choosing eventual death by sunshine no matter what.
6:45 AM Jun 27th
from web
in reply to OblongRobber
|
- Name Confounded brunette
- Location deep, dirty southern US
- Web http://timestolen...
- Bio the weird girl who smiles too much. theungracefulone [at] gmail if you want more than 140. whatWHAT
|
