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twitter_twatter

  1. Watching Lost is like the ultimate edging.8:13 AM May 19th from Lounge
  2. Went hiking and got my first ever camel toe! Geraldo said it looked hot. We cut the hike short and headed home.4:00 PM May 9th from Lounge
  3. Who says scar tissue is bad? Osvaldo said my slightly deformed growler is as tight as a mosquito's.9:16 PM May 2nd from Lounge
  4. Yann Tiersen can strum my banjo anyday. Such fast hands...10:27 PM Apr 29th from Lounge
  5. Strange night. Stranger morning. Woke up with Manuel, Hernan and Miguel all wearing surgical masks. Explains my nightmare of giving birth.2:47 PM Apr 27th from Lounge
  6. Rod Stewart - Mole Sex Change = Bonnie Tyler10:43 AM Apr 27th from Lounge
  7. Momma's not going to have a dry dock when these boats come in... http://www.rosefestival.org...4:18 PM Apr 8th from Lounge
  8. Some people were offended by that last tweet. For God's sake, get over yourself. The HE I referred to was my dog Benjy.2:17 PM Mar 19th from Lounge
  9. I guess the weirdest part about brushing up against him is that he doesn't know I have a vagina.2:14 PM Mar 19th from Lounge
  10. Took the bandages off. You know how your finger is all clammy and wrinkly when you remove a band-aid...7:22 AM Jul 16th, 2008 from Twitterrific
  11. Oh my god, my vagina smells awful today. Its been 3 months now, so I wonder if I can change the bandages?2:51 PM Jul 11th, 2008 from Hahlo
  12. Best co-worker comment so far today: "A huge sperm bath orgy sounds par for a planet called Chaos."12:01 PM Apr 25th, 2008 from web
  13. Miguel is a master of this vibrator. He sent me a text of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious". Was squirming like I'd been electrocuted.5:44 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from web
  14. Just found some hacked firmware for my bluetooth vibrator that allows it to operate outside of US safety limits. (http://rubyurl.com/OppY)5:41 PM Apr 24th, 2008 from web
  15. Vagina has settled down nicely. Without the swelling, it no longer resembles a Cornish pastie.5:33 PM Apr 2nd, 2008 from Hahlo
  16. Overheard Paco telling a friend something about me and the Cleveland Steamers. Must have surprise tickets to a ball game!4:39 PM Mar 27th, 2008 from Hahlo
  17. Not sure why I decided to keep my balls in a jar. Nostalgia? Paco said they look like a strange, fleshy snow globe.3:55 PM Mar 27th, 2008 from Hahlo
  18. Had *that* dream again last night where I try out the candidates. I could take McCain and Obama, but the sight of Hilary strapping on...5:11 PM Mar 26th, 2008 from web
  19. Back home and trying not to pick at the scabs on my new, itchy growler.5:09 PM Mar 26th, 2008 from web
  20. Looking at my uncovered vagina. Swollen shut, it looks like a broken volcano, with rivulets of dried up magma. More painkillers please!7:59 PM Mar 11th, 2008 from web