twilarity
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Daughter prefers H2O, coffee, red wine & beer over all other drinks. Juice boxes? Might as well not exist. No blood test needed, she's mine
about 19 hours ago
from Tweetie
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Charlie Sheen's Xmas gift to the world: Making you, by comparison, feel like you have your shit together. Thx Chuck...
9:14 PM Dec 25th
from Tweetie
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Happy birthday @! I made you a crown, but only recommend wearing it on a special occasion. Perhaps in early April...
8:54 AM Dec 25th
from Tweetie
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RT @: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was tweeting, except roughly half the people
...
8:55 PM Dec 24th
from API
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RT @: I feel like this last 30 minutes is a freebie. There's no time for Santa to update his list. It's a flaw in the system.
8:50 PM Dec 24th
from API
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@ I would but please see my previous tweet...
8:43 PM Dec 24th
from Tweetie
in reply to HemiRT5pt7
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Champagne, Goldfish crackers, and horrid Xmas movies. My holiday is now complete. No wait. I'm drunk. *Now* I've reached Xmas nadir...
8:41 PM Dec 24th
from Tweetie
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Gonna make U a REAL martini 4 Xmas: RT @ @ Check the price of Godiva liqueur. Good thing the martinis only need a little
7:07 PM Dec 24th
from Tweetie
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After an exhausting 7 hour drive, we made it. And look!!! Here's mom out to greet us despite the early hour and welcom---
11:55 PM Dec 23rd
from Tweetie
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...No mom I didn't *mean* to park on the grass; there's a lot of snow & the tire is barely-Wha..? no that dent on your car wasn't from me...
11:54 PM Dec 23rd
from Tweetie
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Monkeys can identify group members in a photo line-up, confirming suspicions that they should be allowed on Facebook
1:34 PM Dec 23rd
from Brizzly
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I♥Science! "Explosive eversion & functional morphology of the duck penis supports sexual conflict in waterfowl genitalia"
9:16 AM Dec 23rd
from Brizzly
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The plight of the Jewish physicist on Xmas: scheduling can be a real bitch...
6:55 AM Dec 23rd
from Tweetie
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@ I wasn't one. But I'm cute.
8:49 PM Dec 22nd
from web
in reply to blondediva11
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Went through my follower list, blocked 7 spammers, and found @ who has GREAT info and no I don't need that info why do you ask?
7:22 PM Dec 22nd
from web
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Ah, time to read through the lovely Xmas cards I've received & feel the joyful spi...SHIT GRAMMA YOU EVER GONNA SPELL MY FUCKING NAME RIGHT?
7:05 PM Dec 22nd
from web
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@ PLS TELL ME IT INVOLVED TOFU CUZ THAT SHIT IS HILARI...nevermind. Thought I'd practice since I'm not home yet but.can't.do.it.
6:48 PM Dec 22nd
from web
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I'm starting to get into the Xmas spirits. This 10 yr single malt under my neighbor's tree is delic...HEY! PUT THAT SHOVEL DOWN YOU SCROOGE!
6:38 PM Dec 22nd
from web
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@ This is one of those times when patience is a virtue. Let her sound that shit out, sloowllyyy...COME ON MAN. CONCENTRATE DAMMIT!
6:27 PM Dec 22nd
from web
in reply to MrBigFists
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@ You mean you can't see the "...for the poor ancient shriveled masses" in 4pt font *after* their name??? Pfff.....
8:19 AM Dec 22nd
from Brizzly
in reply to antichrista
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- Name Twilarity
- Location In the lab. Or at the bar.
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio I tweet science. I star science. Scientists are funny too. Stop laughing. WARNING: What I think is funny may not jibe with your awful tastes.
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