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twfa

  1. The wife says the truffle shuffle doesn't count as foreplay. I told her neither does blowing my paycheck at Walmart. Sleepin outside tonight 10:05 AM Dec 15th from TweetDeck
  2. Ever penetrate a squirrel so you could watch it's eyes pop out? Me neither. Sounds funny, though. 2:13 PM Dec 12th from Tweetie
  3. @CharlotteSpeaks Mine are covered in goat urine! 1:43 PM Dec 10th from TweetDeck in reply to CharlotteSpeaks
  4. @honestlove You can. it's called Tequila #fb 1:20 PM Dec 10th from TweetDeck in reply to honestlove
  5. GODDAMMIT I KNOW GOOD MUSIC WHEN I SEE IT http://bit.ly/3ej8aK #twfa 7:46 AM Dec 10th from TweetDeck
  6. Either I just raped a snow angel or this Hennessey is kickin in. 7:07 AM Dec 9th from Tweetie
  7. 5 years ago today, Darrell 'Dimebag' Abbott was murdered on stage. 29 years ago today John Lennon was murdered. Today is a drag. 10:05 AM Dec 8th from Tweetie
  8. @tolgar nag. I just brushed it off with my wife's facial tissue. Now it's literal. 8:55 PM Dec 7th from Tweetie in reply to tolgar
  9. @LoneWolffe perfect murder? 27 midgets, 4 tubs of orange sherbert, 6 plushie pokemons and a chainsaw. Explain THAT shit. 8:03 PM Dec 7th from Tweetie in reply to LoneWolffe
  10. Anyone know how to get protien stains out of a Snuggie? 7:59 PM Dec 7th from Tweetie
  11. @MrGChristopher fuck out your face? Where do I get in line? I know I have my C-clamps around here somewhere... 7:58 PM Dec 7th from Tweetie in reply to MrGChristopher
  12. Well this isn't creepy at all. #twfa 11:03 AM Dec 7th from TweetDeck
  13. @touqen and this is the detail you concern yourself with? 9:39 PM Dec 5th from Tweetie in reply to stephenboston
  14. I just curb stomped a baby girraffe. He was lookin at me funny. 7:02 PM Dec 5th from Tweetie
  15. @nefertiti_ the fake tits go inside the shirt, darlin 6:41 PM Dec 4th from Tweetie in reply to nefertiti_
  16. @thejoelstein cmon over. Big daddy'll show ya. 6:40 PM Dec 4th from Tweetie in reply to thejoelstein
  17. If you take advantage of a hooker is that rape or shoplifting? The cops here are at a loss too. Best answer gets a google wave invite. 6:39 PM Dec 4th from Tweetie
  18. There's nothin' better than the cold sweet embrace of the tailpipe on an '84 Ford pickup truck. 8:16 AM Dec 3rd from TweetDeck
  19. There's just something magical about pulling a child completely off the ground by one of their armpits. 5:19 AM Dec 2nd from Tweetie
  20. @torrez that happened to me too, except instead of an oven and a dish it was my face and a crack pipe. Same thing, though 10:12 PM Dec 1st from Tweetie in reply to torrez
  • Name Chuck U. Farley
  • Location drunkland
  • Bio I'm rash, brazen, disgusting and rude. Enjoy it while it lasts because all these pills are sure to knock me out at some point
113 Following 234 Followers 1 Listed
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