Profile_bird

Hey there! tweettales is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving tweettales's tweets.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

tweettales

  1. Children, Momma missed you. Sorry to have kept you all chained to the furnace like this. I will never be the parent that Britney Spears is. 4:11 PM May 19th from web
  2. Check out http://nameyourtale.com and submit your title for more microfic than you can shake a cowtail at. @nameyourtale #microfiction 7:26 PM Mar 24th from web
  3. Microfiction: Microwaveable fiction. 3:42 PM Feb 16th from web
  4. After finding the kitten in my bag, the Customs guy asked if I had anything else to declare. "Just these monkeys taped to my leg," I said. 4:41 PM Feb 10th from web
  5. Christmas only comes once a year, and it's a good thing too, because otherwise we'd have two Jesuses. 4:30 PM Feb 10th from web
  6. I'm pretty sure that the cat isn't supposed to be on fire, but who am I to judge him? 4:29 PM Feb 10th from web
  7. My favorite thing about Guinea Pigs is the tiny bacon. 11:28 AM Jan 28th from twhirl
  8. blork 11:27 AM Jan 28th from twhirl
  9. I recently used karate to defeat my most terrifying opponent yet. A GIANT ROBOT-GORILLA! Now, I am "no longer allowed at Chuck-e-Cheese." 11:12 AM Jan 28th from twhirl
  10. Colin didn't realize it, but his friends always called him "Captain Hairy Teeth" behind his back, on account of his hairy teeth. 8:27 AM Jan 28th from twhirl
  11. At the end of a hard day, I like to come home and obliterate about 35 concrete blocks with an awesome palm strike. That's my "me" time. 2:13 PM Jan 26th from web
  12. @mopedronin It's high time for a Karate story. Look out buster brown. Tap gloves and come out knife-hand striking. 2:09 PM Jan 26th from web in reply to idiotandroid
  13. @polkat YOUR SMILING DOG AVATAR > ANYTHING EVER 2:08 PM Jan 26th from web in reply to polkat
  14. As the psychopath clown murdered my family in front of me, I could only think "Ugh, I sure hate Mondays!" 1:58 PM Jan 26th from twhirl
  15. If Hollywood thinks America wants to see a series of movies about a Chinese detective and a sassy black cop miscommunicating, they are RIGHT 12:32 PM Jan 21st from twhirl
  16. I have a dream: that someday, all pants will be made of spaghetti, and that the international language of "love" will replace English. 12:15 PM Jan 19th from web
  17. @greywulf Tweettales is loving you, too, and that's not just the Sloe Gin talking. 2:26 PM Jan 14th from web in reply to greywulf
  18. Maybe being a cat burglar is not for me. Apparently, cats aren't worth as much as they used to be, and diamonds are much quieter to steal. 12:05 PM Jan 14th from web
  19. My roommate always got chicks because he had one eye. He also had one horn, flew, was purple, and ate people. Ah, Monster University! 9:12 PM Jan 11th from web
  20. People probably wouldn't keep dogs if they had little weird monkeys clinging to their bellies, eating debris, like Remoras do on sharks. 9:07 PM Jan 11th from web
  • Name tweettales
  • Location Chapel Hill
  • Bio tiny stories about love, death and karate.
244 Following 268 Followers 8 Listed
karen stern Nick Yingling scronce AS Sara Conrad Kevin Thom Soren Ulfert Marc Policani Erin Palette A. Rae Rosas Armand Charpentier Mixael Brittany Webster Alyssa Phillips Twiction Raima Larter Tom Parker Jess jhemmingsen HolyGod Jules Diane Gracy PoleStar Jewelry Flashlight Worthy Gary Arndt Bryan Gruhlke Pat and Lorna Shanks Kostas Tsipos Chris Hunt Paul Arden Lidberg Derek Oyen Mike Wesely carissaaaa DailyArt BellaModiste Kyle McGinnity