tommyzor
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A bad driver is someone who drives in a manner that requires/causes other drivers to react specifically to how they're driving.
1:41 PM Nov 24th
from web
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Seriously, all bullshit aside, what would I do without alcohol? It takes 6 minutes to go from miserable to happy. I'd pay $27.60 for that.
10:19 PM Nov 21st
from web
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During an important job interview, be sure to never bust out the expression "Oh, that's *so* raven!"
7:04 AM Nov 12th
from web
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Is it wrong to be immediately turned on if I see a woman operating a vacuum cleaner?
11:24 AM Nov 11th
from web
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If you have sex with a prostitute for free, is it rape or shoplifting?
5:15 AM Nov 10th
from Twitterrific
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OMFG to the new Britney song - thank GOD I don't have a teenage daughter listening to it. Sometimes I'm actually sickened by human beings.
10:22 AM Nov 9th
from web
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You can tell those loose hippy environmental bitches that I'm down with them - even my plants are solar powered.
5:34 AM Nov 8th
from web
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There's really no effect drugs can achieve that some good old fashioned sleep deprivation can't
11:50 AM Nov 5th
from web
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No matter how much 'extra' cash you run into, something'll fuck up and cost you all that money and the extra $20 to get back home...
9:16 AM Nov 2nd
from web
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I'm an athlete, in the sense that web surfing is a sport
6:40 AM Oct 25th
from web
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Today I saw the end of the world - a girl on MSN Messenger on her Blackberry during a rock concert.
8:25 PM Oct 23rd
from web
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No matter where you go... there you are.
4:11 AM Oct 22nd
from web
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500 Days of Summer is the best movie I've seen this year! (and that's with me including Backdoor Nurses #17)
7:43 AM Oct 20th
from web
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Without exception, the cheapest furnace or car is the one you already own.
10:30 AM Oct 17th
from web
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What's with these products? Am I really to believe that my ceramic mugs need Vitamin E and aloe?
8:03 AM Oct 14th
from web
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There is no 'i' in team, but there is a 'u' in cocksucker.
5:45 PM Oct 8th
from web
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
12:03 PM Oct 1st
from web
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I can't wait until someone invents peach yogurt that doesn't taste like diesel fuel!
6:32 AM Sep 25th
from web
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Life used to get me down until I discovered the miracle of apathy...
6:34 AM Sep 21st
from web
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When looking for reasons things go wrong, never rule out sheer stupidity
10:43 AM Sep 15th
from web
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