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tommyzor

  1. OMFG to the new Britney song - thank GOD I don't have a teenage daughter listening to it. Sometimes I'm actually sickened by human beings.
  2. You can tell those loose hippy environmental bitches that I'm down with them - even my plants are solar powered.
  3. There's really no effect drugs can achieve that some good old fashioned sleep deprivation can't
  4. No matter how much 'extra' cash you run into, something'll fuck up and cost you all that money and the extra $20 to get back home...
  5. I'm an athlete, in the sense that web surfing is a sport
  6. Today I saw the end of the world - a girl on MSN Messenger on her Blackberry during a rock concert.
  7. No matter where you go... there you are.
  8. 500 Days of Summer is the best movie I've seen this year! (and that's with me including Backdoor Nurses #17)
  9. Without exception, the cheapest furnace or car is the one you already own.
  10. What's with these products? Am I really to believe that my ceramic mugs need Vitamin E and aloe?
  11. There is no 'i' in team, but there is a 'u' in cocksucker.
  12. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
  13. I can't wait until someone invents peach yogurt that doesn't taste like diesel fuel!
  14. Life used to get me down until I discovered the miracle of apathy...
  15. When looking for reasons things go wrong, never rule out sheer stupidity
  16. Happy 10th Anniversary, Dreamcast! I hate to admit it, but I never really loved you. You had 5 good games, and that's about it.
  17. I like my women how I like my Macbook: white, thin, and easy to use
  18. Did you ever have the compulsion to fuck Britney Spears? I have. Since 1999.
  19. Colleen Fitzpatrick is the shit. I said it. Good for her, thanks for all the miserable moments!
  20. The expression "the cheque is in the mail!" obviously wasn't referring to my rebate...