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tommyz67

  1. Q. What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances? A. Retired. 5:11 AM Sep 13th from API
  2. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 11:08 AM Sep 12th from API
  3. Why do you press harder on the buttons when the battery in the remote control is dead? 11:06 AM Sep 12th from API
  4. I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me. 11:03 AM Sep 12th from API
  5. I think you'd be shocked by how many tweets I type out and then delete, thinking, "Nah, that's just being a dick." 8:29 AM Sep 12th from API
  6. Wow, you can download every Beatles album for only 99C at http://bit.ly/9WcUo 9:44 AM Sep 10th from API
  7. Another way Bruce Willis could've realized he was dead in SIXTH SENSE? If he tried to use a motion detected paper towel dispenser. 2:08 PM Sep 9th from API
  8. You probably want the link, right? http://bit.ly/9WcUo 9:32 AM Sep 7th from API
  9. I did not slap you, I simply high fived your face. 1:18 AM Sep 6th from API
  10. Evading people you see @ the grocery store and do not want to talk to should be an Olympic sport. I'd easily land a gold. 11:44 PM Sep 4th from API
  11. Watching The final Destination at http://bit.ly/first4film 10:27 AM Sep 4th from API
  12. Just downloaded the new George Strait album over at http://bit.ly/9WcUo - it's damm fine! 9:49 AM Sep 1st from API
  13. This is a good time for ice cream. There is rarely a bad time for it. Unless you were in a contest where the 1st person to eat it died. 2:07 PM Aug 31st from API
  14. national holiday here today, was meant to be sunny, bit its raining... going to get some music over at http://bit.ly/9WcUo 12:01 AM Aug 31st from API
  15. Evading people you see @ the grocery store and do not want to talk to should be an Olympic sport. I'd easily land a gold. 1:13 AM Aug 30th from API
  16. Awesome music at http://www.legalsoundz.com 10:41 AM Aug 29th from API
  17. Holy shit, I'm in a library right now. It's like being INSIDE a Kindle!! 10:40 AM Aug 29th from API
  18. Was forced to bathe the cats today. They're very angry. This may be my last transmission. Tell my family they can't have my stuff. 12:00 AM Aug 29th from API
  19. Looking for cheap music - try http://www.legalsoundz.com - alll their music is only 9¢ - wicked find! 12:38 PM Aug 28th from API
  20. Who needs friends when you have people who know just enough about you to think you're alright! 11:17 AM Aug 26th from API