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toldorknown

  1. "There ain't never been no brainiac what wasn't some shade of crazy" - Aristotle (paraphrased)
  2. Off for Saturday morning co-enabler omelettes at the diner.
  3. Okay, this is where Daylight Saving Time always trips me up. Is "beer thirty" before or after "half past a monkey's ass" now?
  4. @hotdogsladies Oh, THAT Gupta. Silly me, I thought you meant Sanjay. R.R. "Ram Rod" Gupta is the shiznit.
  5. Not sure this SSRI is being properly S in its role as an I of the R of S.
  6. @chockenberry kMDItemWhereFroms,
  7. @nevenmrgan If you look at the breeding patterns, stupid appears to be the more evolutionarily stable strategy.
  8. @LucyKateHopkins Hang in there, sweetie. We're all pulling for you.
  9. I'd love to attend, but I'm playing office volcano and the meeting room is lava.
  10. Happy birthday wishes today go to Tilda Swinson, Sam Rockwell, Corin Nemec, and time permitting, @moltz.
  11. GM has scrapped plans to sell their European arm, but three Canadian toes and a Honduran hand will remain available for purchase.
  12. When life hands you lemons, stuff them down its throat. I mean, as long as you're anthropomorphising life, why not go all in?
  13. Leftover Halloween Candy Zero™ Now it's time to switch back to my default shame trigger. Disengaging SafeSearch in five, four, three, two…
  14. "Nasàl Lavage" would be a good name for a hooker with a very specific clientele.
  15. There are recipes on cartons of Whoppers. I repeat: RECIPES. THERE ARE FOODS OF WHICH CHOCOLATE COVERED MALT BALLS ARE MERELY A COMPONENT.
  16. The Penultimate Countdown #unseenprequels
  17. Baby, every night: "I don't wanna go to bed!" Mornings: "I don't wanna get up!" Babies are always flaunting their lack of job. Jerks.
  18. While what I've grown is technically a beard and moustache, it looks more like something from a vo-tech production of Cats.
  19. If you're going to bitch about being on someone's funnier-than-pauly-shore list, make sure you're not talking to someone isn't.
  20. H1N1 defenses more effective than vaccine: self-quarantine or having had H1N1. Fail the former and you've got a great shot at the latter.