tj
- I can't seem to avoid sodomy jokes around here tonight. It's reamdickuluz.about 4 hours ago from Tweetie
- @califmom that's what she said. <insert rimshot here>about 5 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to califmom
- "T-boned on the Passenger Side" would be a terrible name for a porn movie.about 5 hours ago from Tweetie
- Please understand I'm not saying I am comfortable with Mountain Man Anal Rape.
There's a clarification I never thought I'd need to make.about 8 hours ago from Twitterrific
- Chest waxing scene in 40 Year-Old Virgin scene made me more uncomfortable than Deliverance.about 9 hours ago from Twitterrific
- @abigvictory stuck in the middle is you ;-)about 9 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to abigvictory
- Someone please make sure that they burn the hat Roddick was wearing. That's nasty.about 16 hours ago from Twitterrific
- "Don't bring me down..... DEUCE!"
What? It's my Wimbledon rally song.
Oh, YOU shut up.about 17 hours ago from Twitterrific
- HI EVERYONE, HOW WAS YOUR 4TH?!
HOPE YOU DIDN'T HAVE TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING FOR THAT HEADACHE?
WHAT?
I *AM* WHISPERING!about 21 hours ago from Tweetie
- @smuttysteff there is a "Live Bait" vending machine at one of the gas stations in my town. Yes, really.about 21 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to smuttysteff
- @bliccy yes, but what color would it turn my tongue?about 21 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to bliccy
- Me: "How white do I sound if I say I like Jim Gaffigan more than Chris Rock?"
The WIfe: "I went to bed 2 hours ago, you're making this up."10:33 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie
- I can tell if a comic is funny faster than Rain Man counts toothpicks.
Plus I won't sit on the edge of the bed while you have sex. Usually.9:17 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie
- Dear Comedy Central: Why show Chris Rock if you're going to censor him? It sounds like you're testing the fucking Emergency Broadcast System8:48 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie
- Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled stomach yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming pants.
— Ode To Cookouts7:47 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie
- @jsttmfb "What's in a slippery dick?" How long have you been married? Shouldn't you have figured that one out by now?6:02 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie in reply to jsttmfb
- Red wine with beef.
White wine with chicken.
Orange soda with Doritos.5:31 PM Jul 4th from Twitterrific
- Dear Jesus: thank you for our freedom and Doritos. Mostly Doritos. And our freedom to eat them.5:09 PM Jul 4th from Twitterrific
- My favorite part of the anti-drunk driving PSA (cars swaying, filled with beer) is how it reminds us that only (single) men drink and drive.4:26 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie
- The Wife & Boy have gone to see Transformers 2 again. However ID4 fulfilled my schlock quota, so I stayed home. Independently.3:44 PM Jul 4th from Tweetie
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